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A Estranged Father is kidnapped by his business partner in NYC, He must escape to reconcile with his kids or die regarding in a small old apartment.
This is a step forward. It is in the present tense and the lead has a goal. Much betterHowever; I am confused about the part where you wrote "...or die regarding in a small old apartment". I am not sure what that means. If it's important to the plot you should re-word it. If not I would drop that paRead more
This is a step forward. It is in the present tense and the lead has a goal. Much better
However; I am confused about the part where you wrote “…or die regarding in a small old apartment”. I am not sure what that means. If it’s important to the plot you should re-word it. If not I would drop that part.
See lessA selfish billionaire businessman went to NYC were he got kidnapped by his opponents, and left to die in a small old room.
scripts and loglines are written in the present tense because things happen on screen right-now.Also, stories are about what the lead character must do. Your logline attempt is just a set-up, the story would be about what happens after he is kidnapped. Here is an example: (Yours would be different)Read more
scripts and loglines are written in the present tense because things happen on screen right-now.
Also, stories are about what the lead character must do. Your logline attempt is just a set-up, the story would be about what happens after he is kidnapped.
See lessHere is an example: (Yours would be different)
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“When he is left for dead in a locked room, a kidnapped billionaire must use his childhood skills as a street magician to break from his prison and get revenge on his abductors.”
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Hope that helped.
What about
There was a movie called "phone booth" that could be used as an example of a story between two people in which most of the dialog is over a phone.In this, you could use a computer camera to shoot the telemarketer, You just need to make the low budget set look like they are in a cubicle Then use a reRead more
There was a movie called “phone booth” that could be used as an example of a story between two people in which most of the dialog is over a phone.
In this, you could use a computer camera to shoot the telemarketer, You just need to make the low budget set look like they are in a cubicle
Then use a regular camera for the suicidal man. Maybe a bedroom set,
I would begin with the opening credits as the suicidal man prepares the items he will use to kill himself. A photo of his ex. a gun, some bullets, some vodka.
Switch to the telemarketer, she needs one more successful ‘yes’ if she is to be top salesman (There may even be a leader board) so she will stay late. Everyone else leaves. “Turn the lights off when you leave!” “Will do!” She is hungry for that last sale.
The suicidal man lays some plastic on his bed, kisses the photo, takes a shot, puts the gun to his head… RING… RING… RING.
a moment of hesitation, then he answers the phone.
The story begins.
See less