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A plus size full figure woman slips and falls walking down Hollywood Blvd in front of a Casting Agent that just made a bet with his freind that he could find anyone work in Hollywood regardless of the circumstances. And so the Dramedy begins.
You have described a scene (Or a situation) not a story. Who is the lead character? The plus sized woman or the casting agent?
You have described a scene (Or a situation) not a story.
Who is the lead character? The plus sized woman or the casting agent?
See lessA straight clean-cut mayors phone is found by paparazzi. The mayor has nude photos on the phone. The mayor accidentally left the phone un-locked. The paparatazzi is ready to sell the photos, however, we have a catch.
You are describing a situation, not a story. A logline gives a quick glimpse of story. If you would like to improve this logline, I would start be giving us a lead character. Give us a goal for that character then give us something standing in the way. Is the mayor the lead character? Or is the papaRead more
You are describing a situation, not a story.
A logline gives a quick glimpse of story.
If you would like to improve this logline, I would start be giving us a lead character. Give us a goal for that character then give us something standing in the way.
Is the mayor the lead character? Or is the paparazzi? It sounds like the Paparazzi are the one initiating the action.
Let’s try it this way (With the mayor as the lead character)
“After his phone is stolen by the paparazzi, a mayor with a clean cut image must retrieve it, and the illicit photos it contains, before his career is ruined.”
Hope that helps, good luck with this!!
See lessSent to evaluate the crew and staff of a new U.S. state-of-the-art nuclear submarine during its trial runs, the head of the U. S. DoD PsyOps Division discovers her vengeful ex husband has planted a computer virus to destroy her while on board. Will this deadly psychological war destroy everything?
You have two inciting incidents in your logline 1st: Sent to evaluate the crew and staff of a new U.S. state-of-the-art nuclear submarine. 2nd: discovers her vengeful ex husband has planted a computer virus to destroy her while on board. That's what makes the logine so long. The second inciting inciRead more
You have two inciting incidents in your logline
1st: Sent to evaluate the crew and staff of a new U.S. state-of-the-art nuclear submarine.
2nd: discovers her vengeful ex husband has planted a computer virus to destroy her while on board.
That’s what makes the logine so long. The second inciting incident seems like the important one
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“After she discovers her vengeful ex-husband’s planted a computer virus on the submarine she’s evaluating, a no-nonsense PsyOps agent must destroy the virus to save those aboard.”
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“Destroy the virus” might not be correct but you should put in the logine what she must do in your story to save the day.
See less