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A young football chairman struggles to keep the club afloat, relationships in the boardroom are strained, will Dreary FC survive?
There?s the idea? and there?s the logline.? In this case it?s hard to tell if the idea?s any good because the logline is vague. 1) What?s the protagonist struggling against? Is it lack of fans? An owner who won?t spend money on free agents? A star player demanding a trade? 2) relationships in the boRead more
There?s the idea? and there?s the logline.? In this case it?s hard to tell if the idea?s any good because the logline is vague.
1) What?s the protagonist struggling against? Is it lack of fans? An owner who won?t spend money on free agents? A star player demanding a trade?
2) relationships in the boardroom are strained? I would drop this, stick to one problem (saving the team) in the logline.
3) Will Dreary FC survive? This isn?t needed.
An example:
??
When the greedy new owner decides to blow-up the team, a young football chairman engages in a battle of wills to keep the core veterans from being traded, even though it could cost him his job.?
??
Although your logline will differ, you can see how in my example I spell out the specifics:
Protagonist-Young football chairman
Antagonist-Greedy owner
Conflict-Keeping the veterans from being traded
Stakes-His job
If you can give us the specifics; protagonist, antagonist, conflict and stakes, your logline will be much improved. (Coming up with a good hook can really make your logline pop as well)
Hope this helps. Good luck with your story.
See lessA young football chairman struggles to keep the club afloat, relationships in the boardroom are strained, will Dreary FC survive?
There's the "idea" and there's the "logline." In this case it's hard to tell if the idea's any good because the logline is vague. 1) What's the protagonist struggling against? Is it lack of fans? An owner who won't spend money on free agents? A star player demanding a trade? 2) "relationships in theRead more
There’s the “idea” and there’s the “logline.” In this case it’s hard to tell if the idea’s any good because the logline is vague.
1) What’s the protagonist struggling against? Is it lack of fans? An owner who won’t spend money on free agents? A star player demanding a trade?
2) “relationships in the boardroom are strained” I would drop this, stick to one problem (saving the team) in the logline.
3) Will Dreary FC survive? This isn’t needed.
An example:
—–
“When the greedy new owner decides to blow-up the team, a young football chairman engages in a battle of wills to keep the core veterans from being traded, even though it could cost him his job.”
—–
Although your logline will differ, you can see how in my example I spell out the specifics:
Protagonist-Young football chairman
Antagonist-Greedy owner
Conflict-Keeping the veterans from being traded
Stakes-His job
If you can give us the specifics; protagonist, antagonist, conflict and stakes, your logline will be much improved. (Coming up with a good hook can really make your logline pop as well)
Hope this helps. Good luck with your story.
See lessWhen Arthur goes to work in the front yard to escape his wife?s nagging, he accidentally walks into a ?best yard? contest with his neighbor.
This logline tells us nothing about the story. "He walks into a "Best yard" contest with his neighbor... doe he watch the contest? Why does he care? Does he enter into it as well as his neighbor? What are the stakes? Why is it important to him? What will he lose if he doesn't win? What is his goal?Read more
This logline tells us nothing about the story.
“He walks into a “Best yard” contest with his neighbor… doe he watch the contest? Why does he care? Does he enter into it as well as his neighbor? What are the stakes? Why is it important to him? What will he lose if he doesn’t win? What is his goal? How will he achieve his goal?
Anyway; there is a premise here but I don’t see story unless you add to it.
See less