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  1. Posted: February 2, 2013In: Public

    Days before the asteroid impact, a state lottery winner of a ticket to the survivor space station N.O.H.A gets haunted by a corrupted government agent trying to steal a seat for his beloved sister

    Richiev Singularity
    Added an answer on February 3, 2013 at 2:20 pm

    How about this: "With only days before an asteroid is set to impact the earth, the winner of a golden ticket to the space station is pressured by a corrupt government agent to give over his life saving ticket."

    How about this:

    “With only days before an asteroid is set to impact the earth, the winner of a golden ticket to the space station is pressured by a corrupt government agent to give over his life saving ticket.”

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  2. Posted: January 30, 2013In: Public

    A young football chairman struggles to keep the club afloat, relationships in the boardroom are strained, will Dreary FC survive?

    Richiev Singularity
    Added an answer on January 31, 2013 at 8:24 pm

    Does the lack of revenue represent, lack of fans in the stands, lack of TV revenue, Lack of sponsors or perhaps salaries too high? What is the young chairman's goal? How does he plan on raising revenue and what or who is standing in the way?

    Does the lack of revenue represent, lack of fans in the stands, lack of TV revenue, Lack of sponsors or perhaps salaries too high?

    What is the young chairman’s goal? How does he plan on raising revenue and what or who is standing in the way?

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  3. Posted: January 27, 2013In: Public

    When three friends go missing on a camping trip in a forest rumored to be haunted, the two left behind discover clues that lead them to a safe deposit box containing video tapes? showing exactly what happened to their friends.

    Richiev Singularity
    Added an answer on January 31, 2013 at 5:36 am

    I agree with Steven, With their friends missing you would think they would go back into the woods with a search party, not to a bank. It's obvious there is a story logic that is not represented in the logline. For instance you could start with: "10 years after their friends disappeared during a campRead more

    I agree with Steven, With their friends missing you would think they would go back into the woods with a search party, not to a bank.

    It’s obvious there is a story logic that is not represented in the logline.

    For instance you could start with:

    “10 years after their friends disappeared during a camping trip, two buddies begins receiving clues…”

    You go on from their telling us the stakes are and who or what is standing in their way.

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