1. Posted: August 16, 2020In:

    As their lives begin to fall apart, an alcoholic bar supply salesman helps his best friend, an MMA fighter, chase his childhood dream to play music at a storied Austin, Texas venue.

    Richiev Singularity

    Because the MMA fighter is the character with the goal, it seems that he would be the likely lead character, if that is the case the logline should be written from his perspective. However, if the alcoholic bar supply salesman is the lead character then this version is fine.

    Because the MMA fighter is the character with the goal, it seems that he would be the likely lead character, if that is the case the logline should be written from his perspective.

    However, if the alcoholic bar supply salesman is the lead character then this version is fine.

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  2. Posted: August 14, 2020In:

    After being sexually abused by his older sister as a child, a man struggles to cope with the abuse by getting addicted to alcohol.

    Richiev Singularity

    An inciting incident should not be 20 years old, Also a lead character should have a goal.

    An inciting incident should not be 20 years old, Also a lead character should have a goal.

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  3. Posted: August 13, 2020In:

    After a raid by a corrupt government leaves his partner dead, a desperate man uses gang controlled technology to escape his dystopian world to an alternate reality in a bid to replace a version of himself living an idealistic life.

    Richiev Singularity

    Great points. I think you are right, it is better to not have the alternate self be bad. Anyway, great premise no matter what direction you go!

    Great points. I think you are right, it is better to not have the alternate self be bad.

    Anyway, great premise no matter what direction you go!

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