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“Five college friends must fight off a man-eating mermaid when their party-barge stalls in the middle of a lake.”
A cannibal, a ghost and a mermaid seem to be three different things. I can see cannibalistic mermaids though because in mythology they tried to kill men by luring them onto the rocks. So I can get that. But I would drop the Haunted lake because Mermaids are not ghosts.
A cannibal, a ghost and a mermaid seem to be three different things.
I can see cannibalistic mermaids though because in mythology they tried to kill men by luring them onto the rocks. So I can get that.
But I would drop the Haunted lake because Mermaids are not ghosts.
See lessWhen FBI agent went to Niger to investigate the death of four America soldiers killed Niger ambush, get into quagmire.
One thing I see about your loglines; you are writing in the past tense but scrips and loglines are written in the present tense because things happen on the screen, right now. Just some helpful advice
One thing I see about your loglines; you are writing in the past tense but scrips and loglines are written in the present tense because things happen on the screen, right now.
Just some helpful advice
See lessA college student is plagued with premonitions of trying to stop a space shuttle explosion that might kill him and his friends.
{An college student discovers a plague of visions through a premonition that he and his friends are going to die in a spaceflight disaster}----------------------------------------------------A plague of visions would be a premonition So you can drop one or the other.Also, you can drop the word DiscoRead more
{An college student discovers a plague of visions through a premonition that he and his friends are going to die in a spaceflight disaster}
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A plague of visions would be a premonition So you can drop one or the other.
Also, you can drop the word Discovers, it doesn’t make any sense, You can’t really discover a plague of visions, you would have (or receive) a plague of visions.
“A college student is plagued with premonitions in which he and his friends die in spaceflight.”?
Now that the logline is shorter, you can add the lead character’s goal to the logline… what does the lead character plan to do about these visions?
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