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A crisis manager by day and citizen journalist by night is recruited by a vigilante mob to expose the corporation he is paid to protect.
"When he's recruited by a vigilante mob to expose the very corporation he's paid to protect, a crisis manager, by day journalist by night must..." then tell us when the lead character must do.
“When he’s recruited by a vigilante mob to expose the very corporation he’s paid to protect, a crisis manager, by day journalist by night must…” then tell us when the lead character must do.
See lessA wheelchair-bound girl must learn to use her physical abilities to save herself and friends from a pack of female zombies.
I think your concept is good, the logline, as expressed by Danzig does need a little workI would say a movie about a woman learning to use her physical abilities seems weird, Maybe she searches youtube, "How to use Physical abilities" then goes to the library and checks out a book on learning physicRead more
I think your concept is good, the logline, as expressed by Danzig does need a little work
I would say a movie about a woman learning to use her physical abilities seems weird, Maybe she searches youtube, “How to use Physical abilities” then goes to the library and checks out a book on learning physical abilities. After that maybe she takes a class, finally after learning to use her abilities in the third act she saves the day.
Instead, I would focus on what she actually must do.
This is just an example yours would be different:
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“When the zombie apocalypse lands smackdab in her small town, a wheelchair-bound radio aficionado and her friends must trek up the local mountain and send out a zombie-killing radio wave in order to save the world from the brain-eating freaks.”
See lessWhen a misogynistic Indian husband loses his IT job, he is forced to work in a team reporting to his wife in her organisation, to pay for mortgage.
I like the built-in conflict based on the lead character's personality.You can drop, "Due to recession," if you want to tighten the logline a little, (Don't drop it in the story, just the logline)Also if being forced to work for his wife causes the lead to have a goal I think that would help the logRead more
I like the built-in conflict based on the lead character’s personality.
You can drop, “Due to recession,” if you want to tighten the logline a little, (Don’t drop it in the story, just the logline)
Also if being forced to work for his wife causes the lead to have a goal I think that would help the logline.
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