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  1. Posted: November 30, 2019In: Drama

    A couple new acquaintances, memory damage and pain escallating hallucination influence the dark recovery of a young man who woke impossibly from a long term coma

    Best Answer
    Richiev Singularity
    Added an answer on November 30, 2019 at 11:45 am

    Both this logline and your previous one string words together in such a way that confuses the reader instead of clarifying the story. As a result, I don't believe this logline is doing justice to your story. From reading both loglines I am making out three interesting elements 1: Your lead characterRead more

    Both this logline and your previous one string words together in such a way that confuses the reader instead of clarifying the story.

    As a result, I don’t believe this logline is doing justice to your story.

    From reading both loglines I am making out three interesting elements

    1: Your lead character wakes from a long term coma.

    2: Upon waking up your character is beset by pain and hallucinations.

    3: His awakening has gone viral (This is from your last logline)

    But what seems missing from your logline, is your lead character’s goal.

    What does your lead character want, and what bad thing will happen if he fails to get it?

     

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  2. Posted: November 28, 2019In: Historical

    An old, abusive slave owner switches body with his slave who gives him a taste of his own medicine

    Best Answer
    Richiev Singularity
    Added an answer on November 30, 2019 at 4:18 am

    I think the real question is, is this story, torture porn or not?If that is what the story is about,? logline actually works.A mean white slave owner switches bodies with his slave, and then the audience watches in glee as the former slave owner is beaten, whipped, degraded, and abuse, end of story.Read more

    I think the real question is, is this story, torture porn or not?

    If that is what the story is about,? logline actually works.

    A mean white slave owner switches bodies with his slave, and then the audience watches in glee as the former slave owner is beaten, whipped, degraded, and abuse, end of story…

    However, if this is a morality tale, then you need to give your lead character a goal.

    So what goal would be the irony of ironies?

    Perhaps after he is transformed into a slave, and beaten by his former slave turned white, he must escape and find the underground railroad, the very people that in the beginning of the story he called traitors to the south.

    And on top of that all his slave owner buddies are now after him with dogs and shotguns, and he realizes that skin color is just that, and nothing more, he is still the same person on the inside but just because his skin is now black he is seen as less than human.

    Perhaps the key is crossing the Mason Dixon line.

    Once the lead character crosses the line into the north he’s is changed back, but with a new perspective on race and what makes a person human, because the people who helped him were more human than his former friends who turned on him the moment his skin changed.

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  3. Posted: November 28, 2019In: Family

    When Christmas HQ is to be torn down due to a lack of belief, a diffident new Santa rallies the other Santas to get children believing again, but when nothing raises the belief-ometer he must find the real cause before Christmas morning.

    Richiev Singularity
    Added an answer on November 30, 2019 at 3:43 am

    "On the verge of bankruptcy and an elf revolt, the new Santa has one week to discover why no one believes in Christmas in order to raise the belief-o-meter, and save Christmas"

    “On the verge of bankruptcy and an elf revolt, the new Santa has one week to discover why no one believes in Christmas in order to raise the belief-o-meter, and save Christmas”

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