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In a world where people are segregated and opposed depending on their birth month, men born in the month of January every few years are sent to an isolated island to fight to the death to provide live entertainment to millions of worldwide viewers.
In a story, you have a lead character, who has a goal, then there is something standing in the way of that goal. (Your logline doesn't have any of these elements)
In a story, you have a lead character, who has a goal, then there is something standing in the way of that goal. (Your logline doesn’t have any of these elements)
See lessAn idealistic young couple travelling by train on their honeymoon encounter a cynical elderly couple who turn out to be them in later life.
When do the lead characters know that the elderly couple is themselves in the future? (Is it by chance a big reveal?)
When do the lead characters know that the elderly couple is themselves in the future? (Is it by chance a big reveal?)
See lessA young pyromaniac makes friends with a group of self-avowed Satanists. Things go wrong when one of her new friends tries to exploit her fire-starting tendencies for their own goal.
I think you need to change this just a tiny little bit,Right now there is only the vaguest notion of conflict, (You say "Things go wrong") but honestly a pyromaniac and a group of Satanists sounds like a perfect match.As a result I would change this to the lead character trying to stop setting firesRead more
I think you need to change this just a tiny little bit,
Right now there is only the vaguest notion of conflict, (You say “Things go wrong”) but honestly a pyromaniac and a group of Satanists sounds like a perfect match.
As a result I would change this to the lead character trying to stop setting fires, She is reformed, or trying to reform, that way, when she meets the Satanist who try to get her to start fires again, you will have conflict.
(This way the lead will also be more sympathetic if she is fighting against her pyromaniac nature)
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