Richiev – Reviews – Page 237

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Posted: August 4, 2019In: Comedy

It’s the year 2030 and Teller is working at becoming Supreme Leader with the help of his good friends and the absurd seems to be working.

Richiev Singularity

Added an answer on August 6, 2019 at 9:55 am

Using the name "Teller" works against this logline because when I hear that name I think of Teller from Penn and Teller. Instead you should give a quick description of character, like a his main trait such as forceful, quirky, angry, shy...etc., And then maybe a job description. Is your lead a membeRead more

Using the name “Teller” works against this logline because when I hear that name I think of Teller from Penn and Teller.

Instead you should give a quick description of character, like a his main trait such as forceful, quirky, angry, shy…etc., And then maybe a job description. Is your lead a member of congress/politician, a banker, businessman, comedian?

In doing so, the reader will have a better idea of who the character is, because if you say, quirky comedian we will get one mental picture, if you say, angry banker we get a different mental picture.

Also, dpg gives good advice, and interpreting constructive criticism as anger is not a constructive method of improving the logline.

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Posted: August 4, 2019In: Action

When a rookie martial artist’s first covert target is to eliminate innocent children, she refuses to complete the mission and must fight the deadly forces tracking them down and find the truth of their identities.

Best Answer

Richiev Singularity

Added an answer on August 6, 2019 at 9:33 am

I don't know all the details; like why the children are targeted or who the lead character works for, so your logline will be different, however as an example how about something like this:--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------"Read more

I don’t know all the details; like why the children are targeted or who the lead character works for, so your logline will be different, however as an example how about something like this:

————————————————————————————————————–

“When she refuses an order to kill the children of her organizations enemies, a Yakuza Assassin must now save the very children she had been ordered to eliminate.”

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