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After losing his daughter to a horrific incident a troubled rock star forms an unlikely bond with a neglected child , changing both of their lives forever.
Your logline kind of answers its own question. Man loses his daughter, Man form bonds with a neglected kid, problem solved. Because your logline answers its own question, there is no conflict, and story is conflict. What is the dramatic conflict that needs to be resolved in your story?
Your logline kind of answers its own question.
Man loses his daughter, Man form bonds with a neglected kid, problem solved.
Because your logline answers its own question, there is no conflict, and story is conflict.
What is the dramatic conflict that needs to be resolved in your story?
See lessWhen a former commando steals secret government documents, he races to prevent a warmongering dictator from obtaining powerful alien technology to start an interplanetary war.
As for the logline.In the movie Star Wars, the empire created a Death Star, which had the ability to destroy an entire planet. This technology will be used to destroy the moon the rebels are located unless the protagonist can use his flying abilities and the force to destroy the weapon. We know exacRead more
As for the logline.
In the movie Star Wars, the empire created a Death Star, which had the ability to destroy an entire planet. This technology will be used to destroy the moon the rebels are located unless the protagonist can use his flying abilities and the force to destroy the weapon. We know exactly what the stakes are.
In your logline you say the Dictator is after ‘alien technology’… this is vague. We have no idea what the danger is.
Does this powerful alien technology have the power to turn human beings into yogurt?
Will the alien technology give the dictator the ability to create evil sexbot assassins?
Will the alien technology give the evil dictator the ability to clone Justin Beiber in order to Beiber bomb the entire planet?
And why is it important to stop a war? How do we know the planet the Dictator wants to start a war with isn’t even more evil than the dictator and so starting a war would be a good thing?
You haven’t given us a personal reason why this war would be a bad thing?
In order to draw in the reader, the reader needs to know the stakes, and for the stakes to be compelling you need specifics. Specifically, what will this alien technology do? Specifically, how is stopping the war personal to the lead character? Why does the lead character care?
If we don’t know why the lead character needs to stop this war, then the reader won’t care.
See lessWhen a former commando steals secret government documents, he races to prevent a warmongering dictator from obtaining powerful alien technology to start an interplanetary war.
The point of a logline is to entice the reader to want more. The point of the logline is not to make the reader have confusing questions. A good logline: "I want to see this movie now." A bad logline: "I'm confused, I have questions."
The point of a logline is to entice the reader to want more. The point of the logline is not to make the reader have confusing questions.
A good logline: “I want to see this movie now.”
See lessA bad logline: “I’m confused, I have questions.”