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  1. Posted: March 29, 2019In: SciFi

    As dimensional portals bring refugees from an another earth, a disillusioned border agent encounters his alternate-earth daughter and becomes torn between following orders, or protecting an alternate world from annihilation.

    Best Answer
    Richiev Singularity
    Added an answer on March 29, 2019 at 10:42 am

    Your logline is missing a key element. What is the goal of the lead character? What does the lead character want? (And what or who is standing in the way) To break it down further. At first glance, it would seem that the dimensional portals are the event that initiates the story. However, the incitiRead more

    Your logline is missing a key element. What is the goal of the lead character? What does the lead character want? (And what or who is standing in the way)

    To break it down further. At first glance, it would seem that the dimensional portals are the event that initiates the story.
    However, the inciting incident is actually the moment the lead meets his alternate-earth daughter. (This would be even more poignant if his own daughter had died several years before)

    This discovery of his alternate daughter should cause your lead character to have a goal… In other words, what is he going to do about it?

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  2. Posted: March 28, 2019In: Examples

    Which one logline should I work on: Multiple Personality Malfunction, Boy becomes king, the youngest known president, girl vs gods, woman revenge for loss of her people, or volatile guy saves city? I leave it to you. P.S. The Train Demon Script is almost done, so until this is figured out, I’ll be working on that logline to get it ready. Thank you and i appreciate the help.

    Richiev Singularity
    Added an answer on March 28, 2019 at 5:20 pm

    I like the idea of your 'Goliath' story, but you need to find a way to get rid of the unit's guns. I mean, if a sling and a stone can kill a giant, then so can a .45 However, if you can figure that out. (Maybe the modern military unit enters a world where technology doesn't work) Then that would beRead more

    I like the idea of your ‘Goliath’ story, but you need to find a way to get rid of the unit’s guns.
    I mean, if a sling and a stone can kill a giant, then so can a .45

    However, if you can figure that out. (Maybe the modern military unit enters a world where technology doesn’t work) Then that would be a good one to work on as well.

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  3. Posted: March 28, 2019In: Examples

    Which one logline should I work on: Multiple Personality Malfunction, Boy becomes king, the youngest known president, girl vs gods, woman revenge for loss of her people, or volatile guy saves city? I leave it to you. P.S. The Train Demon Script is almost done, so until this is figured out, I’ll be working on that logline to get it ready. Thank you and i appreciate the help.

    Richiev Singularity
    Added an answer on March 28, 2019 at 5:17 pm

    ??"When she accidentally releases the god of death while excavating a newly discovered Egyptian pyramid, an archeology student must hunt down the lost dagger of Amon Ra if she's to stop the angry deity and save humanity from being sucked into the underworld."?

    ?

    ?

    “When she accidentally releases the god of death while excavating a newly discovered Egyptian pyramid, an archeology student must hunt down the lost dagger of Amon Ra if she’s to stop the angry deity and save humanity from being sucked into the underworld.”

    ?

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