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In 2161 time travel is common place, but highly regulated, when he?s shot, a cutthroat businessman?s consciousness is sent back in time by his life insurance company to prevent his upcoming murder, without disrupting the timeline too much or his provider cancels his contract.
I don't get the story, the lead is sent back in time but must do the same thing? Normally in a story, the lead would learn from his mistake and do it differently. Why would the company send the lead back in time if he failed the first time and must do it the same way the second time? And what is theRead more
I don’t get the story, the lead is sent back in time but must do the same thing? Normally in a story, the lead would learn from his mistake and do it differently. Why would the company send the lead back in time if he failed the first time and must do it the same way the second time?
And what is the leads goal??The companies goal is to preserve the agreement what does your lead character want?
See lessA body filled with different personalities, whom are struggling to deal with their own problems whilst trying to protect the woman in their group from the judging nature of todays society.
What is a body filled with different personalities? This part of your logline is a little confusing.Are you talking about?Dissociative identity disorder?
What is a body filled with different personalities? This part of your logline is a little confusing.
Are you talking about?Dissociative identity disorder?
See lessAn ambitious app developer must work at his late father?s winery before he can inherit it and cash out for the money he needs to stop a megalomaniac venture capitalist from stealing his latest app.
This is not a critique of the logline.Instead, I just wanted to say, I think the story should end with the lead saving the winery by creating a wine selling app.In other words, the leads app gets stolen from him, he loses his job and is forced to work at the family winery. (The last place he wants tRead more
This is not a critique of the logline.
Instead, I just wanted to say, I think the story should end with the lead saving the winery by creating a wine selling app.
In other words, the leads app gets stolen from him, he loses his job and is forced to work at the family winery. (The last place he wants to work)??However, the winery is losing money.
So he saves the day by bringing the winery?into the modern age.
Plus this ties the beginning of the movie (Losing his app) with the end of the movie (Creating a successful app)
I also don’t think his father should be dead. I think he has a bad relationship with his father.
His father wanted him to take over the family winery because it’s in his blood. But the lead turned his back on the winery and his father to go join a tech company.
So what the lead thinks he wants is?to get his app back or possibly his old job back.
But what he really needs is to repair his relationship with his family and save the winery.
You should also have a fiance who dumps the lead after he loses everything. When the lead goes to the winery he meets the real love interest of the movie.
However, in the third act the old ‘fiance’ should show back up, telling the lead she wants him back and that the company that fired him wants him back as well.
This is everything the lead thinks he wants… but of course, in the end, the lead chooses the winery and the real love interest.
I also think this would work very well if the lead was Hispanic.? (A?nod to the movie, “A Walk in the Clouds”) A Hispanic family that believes very strongly that nothing is more important than family.
Anyway, I think there is a story here. I like the premise. And anything I wrote is just a suggestion.
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