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Aged out of foster care, Eric Grid needs to learn magic if he wants to become rich competing in a high stakes poker league controlled by the mafia.
You are showing us two story points that are not naturally connected. If a person wants to get rich playing poker, they would learn to play poker. Instead, you say the lead character wants to get rich playing poker, so they must learn magic. How do those elements connect, how will magic help a persoRead more
You are showing us two story points that are not naturally connected.
If a person wants to get rich playing poker, they would learn to play poker.
Instead, you say the lead character wants to get rich playing poker, so they must learn magic.
How do those elements connect, how will magic help a person become a better poker player?
See lessWhen a neglected daughter is adopted by a wealthy and powerful man, she must fight her reckless, power hungry mother to keep her new world from falling apart.
If the man who adopted the lead character is wealthy and powerful, then why must the kid lead the fight against her reckless mother instead of her adopted father's team of well-paid lawyers? You should probably add the,"Why Her" to the logline.
If the man who adopted the lead character is wealthy and powerful, then why must the kid lead the fight against her reckless mother instead of her adopted father’s team of well-paid lawyers? You should probably add the,”Why Her” to the logline.
See lessTo save her job, a downsized pharmaceutical statistician with Asperger’s uses all her wiles on a dangerous mission to expose ED drug counterfeiters.
You obviously?have a story in your head that isn't quite making it into the 25 word logline.If this story is not written yet, then my best advice is, make it personal.Someone she cares about dies because of the counterfeit?ED drugs-or-She is personally accused of being responsible for the deaths andRead more
You obviously?have a story in your head that isn’t quite making it into the 25 word logline.
If this story is not written yet, then my best advice is, make it personal.
Someone she cares about dies because of the counterfeit?ED drugs
See less-or-
She is personally accused of being responsible for the deaths and she must clear her name.