1. Posted: October 28, 2018In:

    When a despot king discovers ancient technology that could help him destroy his enemies he is outsmarted by an old digital human that invades his mind with a plan to conquer the real world.

    Richiev Singularity

    This sounds like the setup to the story, not the story itself.

    This sounds like the setup to the story, not the story itself.

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  2. Posted: October 27, 2018In:

    Set in the year 2050: When he wakes up out of his coffin to discover that Transylvania has become an Orwellian fascist state, Count Dracula must lead a rebellion and take them down before they uncover his true identity.

    Richiev Singularity

    Since a vampire lives their lives in the shadows, what are the personal stakes for Dracula??Why does he care about politics? How does the Orwellian nightmare?directly affect him? If you add the personal stakes for Dracula to the logine, I think it will improve.

    Since a vampire lives their lives in the shadows, what are the personal stakes for Dracula??Why does he care about politics?
    How does the Orwellian nightmare?directly affect him?

    If you add the personal stakes for Dracula to the logine, I think it will improve.

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  3. Posted: October 27, 2018In:

    A group of sister have a lengthy conversation trying to fill in the social, cultural and physiological blanks about a long extinct species: Humans.

    Richiev Singularity

    Where is the conflict? Who is the lead character? What is their goal? What is standing in their way?

    Where is the conflict?

    Who is the lead character?
    What is their goal?
    What is standing in their way?

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