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After a man discovers his wife has been cheating for years, he re-connects with the first girl he ever fell in love with to remind himself who he used to be.
"When he discovers his wife has been cheating, a newly divorced man heads back to his hometown to win the heart of the girl he let slip away when he was young and dumb." (Or possibly, the one that got away)
“When he discovers his wife has been cheating, a newly divorced man heads back to his hometown to win the heart of the girl he let slip away when he was young and dumb.”
(Or possibly, the one that got away)
See lessA teen mysteriously cured of terminal cancer becomes the centerpiece of a war between supernatural factions that are hellbent on procuring a miraculous, prophetic pregnancy that grows inside of her.
The problem is, you are telling us what the supernatural forces want but not what the teen wants.What is the lead character's goal?"When she becomes pregnant, a confused virgin must..." (Then tell us what she must do)BTW it seems like the 'becoming pregnant would be the inciting incident, not beingRead more
The problem is, you are telling us what the supernatural forces want but not what the teen wants.
What is the lead character’s goal?
“When she becomes pregnant, a confused virgin must…” (Then tell us what she must do)
BTW it seems like the ‘becoming pregnant would be the inciting incident, not being cured of cancer.
See lessWhen a bipolar girl mysteriously awakens next to the body of her mother in the woods with no recollection of what happened, a troubled detective must dig deep into the secrets of a small town and its paranormal history, to find out the truth and prove the girl?s innocence.
I think variable hit the nail on the head. The inciting incident should happen to the lead character. In your story, the inciting incident happens to someone else. ------------------------------------------------------- "When a desperate?bipolar girl pleads for his help to discover?who murdered herRead more
I think variable hit the nail on the head.
The inciting incident should happen to the lead character.
In your story, the inciting incident happens to someone else.
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See less“When a desperate?bipolar girl pleads for his help to discover?who murdered her mother, a small town detective’s investigation?leads him into the depths of a dark paranormal mystery.”