1. Posted: November 12, 2017In:

    (short script) When a pair of bumbling friends encounter a moody Princess, one of them makes sure that she is given a lesson in humility.

    Best Answer
    Richiev Singularity

    You should have the princess do something mean or snobby to the lead characters so we can relate to? their goal of teaching her a lesson in humility, Otherwise the lead characters are the ones who will come across as mean and unlikable.

    You should have the princess do something mean or snobby to the lead characters so we can relate to? their goal of teaching her a lesson in humility,
    Otherwise the lead characters are the ones who will come across as mean and unlikable.

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  2. Posted: November 11, 2017In:

    After her retired client dies, a social worker risks her life when she discovers a fake agency luring properties from pensioners in exchange for a till-the-end-of-their-life home care. (latest update)

    Richiev Singularity

    Your second attempt is more clear about what is going on, and with less words.

    Your second attempt is more clear about what is going on, and with less words.

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  3. Posted: November 11, 2017In:

    After her retired client dies, a social worker risks her life when she discovers a fake agency luring properties from pensioners in exchange for a till-the-end-of-their-life home care. (latest update)

    Richiev Singularity

    This isn't a bad set-up. However you should tell us what the goal of the character is, what they must do about this discovery.

    This isn’t a bad set-up. However you should tell us what the goal of the character is, what they must do about this discovery.

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