1. Posted: April 27, 2017In:

    An introverted student is infatuated with her flamboyant flatmate, but when fatal ?accidents? befall her flatmate?s lovers, she must clean up not only to keep her flatmate out of trouble, but ultimately to save herself.

    Richiev Singularity

    I could be wrong but the way I see the story... It begins like "Single White Female" the twist is that it is not the infatuated girl who is the killer but the roommate herself. Because the lead is infatuated with her roommate, she cleans up the dead bodies and disposes them. (Possibly the roommate iRead more

    I could be wrong but the way I see the story… It begins like “Single White Female” the twist is that it is not the infatuated girl who is the killer but the roommate herself.
    Because the lead is infatuated with her roommate, she cleans up the dead bodies and disposes them. (Possibly the roommate is a vampire)

    I guess the question, if I was correct in my analysis. What is standing in their way? Is there a cop or private investigator who is on their trail? Also why do we want the lead to succeed. In fact what is the lead character’s goal? Your logline is iffy on that.

    Seems like an interesting story. Like I said, “Single White Female” with a twist. Just not quite sure what the story is ultimately about from your logline.

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  2. Posted: April 28, 2017In:

    A selfish billionaire businessman went to NYC were he got kidnapped by his opponents, and left to die in a small old room.

    Best Answer
    Richiev Singularity

    scripts and loglines are written in the present tense because things happen on screen right-now.Also, stories are about what the lead character must do. Your logline attempt is just a set-up, the story would be about what happens after he is kidnapped. Here is an example: (Yours would be different)Read more

    scripts and loglines are written in the present tense because things happen on screen right-now.

    Also, stories are about what the lead character must do. Your logline attempt is just a set-up, the story would be about what happens after he is kidnapped.
    Here is an example: (Yours would be different)
    —–
    “When he is left for dead in a locked room, a kidnapped billionaire must use his childhood skills as a street magician to break from his prison and get revenge on his abductors.”
    —–
    Hope that helped.

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  3. Posted: April 27, 2017In:

    In a quaint country bay, a leaky dinghy and a fearful speedboat must help a spoilt tender find her superyacht mothership before it embarks on a worldwide voyage.

    Richiev Singularity

    I am not sure why the leaky dinghy and fearful speedboat must help a spoiled tender find her superyacht mothership What are the stakes if they don't? What will they gain if they do?

    I am not sure why the leaky dinghy and fearful speedboat must help a spoiled tender find her superyacht mothership

    What are the stakes if they don’t?
    What will they gain if they do?

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