1. Posted: January 22, 2017In:

    On the outskirts of a small town, a bewildered woman is pushed to the breaking point when she escapes her overbearing husband by luring him into the woods. Short Story, 6pg.

    Richiev Singularity

    I don't think you need, "Pushed to the breaking point" if you have set it up correct we will know that without you telling us. Even though it is a short I would still add a goal for the woman now that she is in the woods. (Unless the story is about her getting to the woods)

    I don’t think you need, “Pushed to the breaking point” if you have set it up correct we will know that without you telling us.

    Even though it is a short I would still add a goal for the woman now that she is in the woods. (Unless the story is about her getting to the woods)

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  2. Posted: February 4, 2017In:

    While trying to aid a quadriplegic man with an alternative method, a blind music therapist accidentally materializes an unholy spirit from her patient?s troubled mind, and it?s up to them to fight against it.

    Richiev Singularity

    I agree with Nir. --------------------- "When they accidentally release an unholy spirit, a quadriplegic and a blind musician must (Do thing thing) in order to send the creature back to hell where it belongs."

    I agree with Nir.
    ———————
    “When they accidentally release an unholy spirit, a quadriplegic and a blind musician must (Do thing thing) in order to send the creature back to hell where it belongs.”

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  3. Posted: February 4, 2017In:

    Granted one week to hunt down the true assassin, a lovesick hitman must execute his fiance on day seven when she unwittingly poisons his boss, the kingpin of crime.

    Richiev Singularity

    Your are missing the "Why"----- When "This happens" a lovesick assassin must kill the assassin who framed him, (Or this bad thing will happen)

    Your are missing the “Why”
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    When “This happens” a lovesick assassin must kill the assassin who framed him, (Or this bad thing will happen)

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