Have an account? Sign In Now
Lost your password? Please enter your email address. You will receive a link and will create a new password via email.
Please briefly explain why you feel this question should be reported.
Please briefly explain why you feel this answer should be reported.
Please briefly explain why you feel this user should be reported.
A schizophrenic ex-serviceman wants to revenge his imaginary wife and her lover!
But? What is standing in his way? You have given us the goal but have not told us what is keeping the protagonist from the goal. Also, why should we want the lead character to succeed? The audience should be rooting for the lead character. I am not seeing anything that make me want to pull for the lRead more
But?
What is standing in his way? You have given us the goal but have not told us what is keeping the protagonist from the goal.
Also, why should we want the lead character to succeed? The audience should be rooting for the lead character.
See lessI am not seeing anything that make me want to pull for the lead character to achieve his goal.
When his daughter commits suicide after witnessing her ex-con boyfriend shot to death, a father-before-a-cop helps Internal Affairs investigators in a sting operation to nail the dirty cops responsible.
The term 'father-before-a-cop' should be changed to, 'a former police officer' to avoid confusion.
The term ‘father-before-a-cop’ should be changed to, ‘a former police officer’ to avoid confusion.
See lessWhen a simple farmer?s daughter is forced to choose the love of a German prisoner or her country?s patriotism she confronts her neighbors’ prejudices in an effort to heal a divided American town.
1: I don't believe you need to use the word 'simple' because people don't think sophisticated and farmer's daughter. I would try a different adjective to describe her. 2: 'Forced to choose' should probably be changed. "When a spirited farm girl falls for a German prisoner," 3: I am not seeing a goalRead more
1: I don’t believe you need to use the word ‘simple’ because people don’t think sophisticated and farmer’s daughter. I would try a different adjective to describe her.
2: ‘Forced to choose’ should probably be changed. “When a spirited farm girl falls for a German prisoner,”
3: I am not seeing a goal for the lead character. In your logline she is ‘forced’, in other words she isn’t the one driving the action, things are happening too her. You should tell us what her goal is then the rest of the logline will fall into place.
4: You might want to be specific as to where this takes place. I don’t know what town was divided when it comes to the Nazi’s.; If we knew what town it was, we might understand why half the town is pro-Nazi and half the town is anti-Nazi.
Hope this helps, good luck with this!
See less