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in the near future a Government sponsored torturer is using his position to steal information and money from death row inmates. He is unaware that his next prisoner is an undercover agent sent to trap him.
Verbs which end in -ing should be replaced with action verbs. in the near future a Government sponsored torturer 'is using' his position to steal in the near future a Government sponsored torturer 'uses' his position to steal Joe is running=Joe runs Jill is writing=Jill writes Two men are fighting=TRead more
Verbs which end in -ing should be replaced with action verbs.
in the near future a Government sponsored torturer ‘is using’ his position to steal
in the near future a Government sponsored torturer ‘uses’ his position to steal
Joe is running=Joe runs
Jill is writing=Jill writes
Two men are fighting=Two men fight
Not the end of the world, but will improve your logline or story.
See lessA cunning serial predator lures a stranded schoolgirl back to his den, where he tries to make her a pawn in his sadistic game, or, can she outplay him?
Great point FFF, agreed.
Great point FFF, agreed.
See lessTwenty years after the horrific slaying of a family, terrified townsfolk wait in fear for the imminent return of the menacing monster that was put away for the crime.
So the movie is about a bunch of townsfolk waiting? Is there a lead character? Does the lead character have a goal? Is there something standing in the way of that goal? Are there stakes? Is there irony? If so, it should be added to the logline...
So the movie is about a bunch of townsfolk waiting?
Is there a lead character?
Does the lead character have a goal?
Is there something standing in the way of that goal?
Are there stakes?
Is there irony?
If so, it should be added to the logline…
See less