1. Posted: July 21, 2015In:

    An exiled 'modified human' must help defeat a deadly faction of super-human terrorists to regain his estranged family.

    Richiev Singularity

    You have left out what sets this entire story in motion. Why is he the one taking on Super-Human terrorists, how will that help him regain an estranged family. Now if the the family was kidnapped by the terrorists I could see how that would all fit, but if that's the case it should be added to the lRead more

    You have left out what sets this entire story in motion. Why is he the one taking on Super-Human terrorists, how will that help him regain an estranged family.

    Now if the the family was kidnapped by the terrorists I could see how that would all fit, but if that’s the case it should be added to the logline.
    —–
    “When his family is kidnapped, an exiled ‘modified human’ must defeat a faction of Super-human terrorists to rescue them.”
    —–

    Hope that helps, good luck with this!

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  2. Posted: July 11, 2015In:

    After his girlfriend breaks up with him because he acts too ?white,? a bookish African-American teenager seeks guidance from his estranged, drug-dealing older sister on how to reinvent his image and win back the love of his life.

    Richiev Singularity

    "My fair homeboy"

    “My fair homeboy”

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  3. Posted: July 9, 2015In:

    After his older sister goes away on a business trip, a college dropout must take care of his hyperactive niece.

    Richiev Singularity

    "When he's forced to take care of his hyperactive niece, a college dropout must..." (Then tell us what he must do)

    “When he’s forced to take care of his hyperactive niece, a college dropout must…” (Then tell us what he must do)

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