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A young candle maker with hidden magic powers teams up with an aloof dragon knight to battle monsters in a dark realm while seeking to rescue her twin brother before a sinister sorcerer uses him to activate an ancient weapon.
DPG, I believe 'candle maker' is supposed to go with the 'dark realm'. The world she enters is dark but because she's a candle maker she can light the way and search for her brother. To me that sounds as if it's the 'hook' of the story. Now if her magical power had to do with 'creating light' and thRead more
DPG, I believe ‘candle maker’ is supposed to go with the ‘dark realm’.
The world she enters is dark but because she’s a candle maker she can light the way and search for her brother.
To me that sounds as if it’s the ‘hook’ of the story.
Now if her magical power had to do with ‘creating light’ and the evil sorcerers plan was to plunge her world into eternal darkness, that would be interesting.
See lessA young candle maker with hidden magic powers teams up with an aloof dragon knight to battle monsters in a dark realm while seeking to rescue her twin brother before a sinister sorcerer uses him to activate an ancient weapon.
DPG, I believe 'candle maker' is supposed to go with the 'dark realm'. The world she enters is dark but because she's a candle maker she can light the way and search for her brother. To me that sounds as if it's the 'hook' of the story. Now if her magical power had to do with 'creating light' and thRead more
DPG, I believe ‘candle maker’ is supposed to go with the ‘dark realm’.
The world she enters is dark but because she’s a candle maker she can light the way and search for her brother.
To me that sounds as if it’s the ‘hook’ of the story.
Now if her magical power had to do with ‘creating light’ and the evil sorcerers plan was to plunge her world into eternal darkness, that would be interesting.
See lessWhen an ancient spell book activates a cursed family heirloom, a part-time occult librarian teams up with an undead ex-cop to destroy a voodoo witchdoctor stealing souls to live forever.
I'm not sure if this is a logline problem or a story problem, but you start with the threat (antagonist) being an ancient spell book, then you end with the threat (antagonist) being a voodoo witch doctor. I would stick with one or the other. ----- "When a witch doctor uses a family heirloom to stealRead more
I’m not sure if this is a logline problem or a story problem, but you start with the threat (antagonist) being an ancient spell book, then you end with the threat (antagonist) being a voodoo witch doctor.
I would stick with one or the other.
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“When a witch doctor uses a family heirloom to steal souls, an occult librarian teams with an un-dead cop to steal back the relic and deactivate it forever.”
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Hope this helps, good luck with this!
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