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Disillusioned to the world around him following the rejection from his crush, an introverted youth finds solace in an online community; however, as the site becomes an echo chamber for hateful rhetoric, his spiritual ennui morphs into a violent ideology.
This sounds more like a good setup (or even first half) to a dramatic or dark coming of age tale, not a horror story. If so, consider starting the next attempt by glossing over most of this one. For example, "After being influenced with a hateful ideology, a disillusioned fifteen year-old..." If it'Read more
This sounds more like a good setup (or even first half) to a dramatic or dark coming of age tale, not a horror story. If so, consider starting the next attempt by glossing over most of this one. For example, “After being influenced with a hateful ideology, a disillusioned fifteen year-old…”
If it’s character-driven, then it may be more about what he deals with than an objective he actively seeks to achieve. Like, how his family and friends react to the change in him.
See lessAfter blowing his investor?s money in one drunken night, a socially awkward college student struggles to produce a movie with no budget or risk being found out.
Is this a logline for marketing a finished script or are you open to adjusting the story?Many scripts/movies have a first half that acts as a longer-than-average setup and it's just a matter of glossing over some details that don't seem to do anything for the logline. "After the unlikely success ofRead more
Is this a logline for marketing a finished script or are you open to adjusting the story?
Many scripts/movies have a first half that acts as a longer-than-average setup and it’s just a matter of glossing over some details that don’t seem to do anything for the logline. “After the unlikely success of his no-budget movie, a (protag)…“
However, better to take the opportunity and consider if the story is as strong as it can be.? The first half feels flat. What’s the big deal about making a movie on a shoestring budget when students do it all the time? What are the stakes? The second half has been done before, though fresh details can make it appealing.
“Social anxiety” is the clearer expression. Though is that the most significant thing about him when some form of that or something similar is assumed with a creative type?
My two cents.
See lessA police officer kills a powerful alien, and many Earthlings are infested by another. The second alien leader and the officer’s future-timeline son hold grudges against the cop for murdering their dear ones.
I understand and like 'Alien seeks vengeance against cop who killed his friend/comrade/x,' though more would still be needed for the next logline attempt. The rest is confusing and seems to dilute the hook of 'alien vengeance.'Is this really sci-fi with multiple make-believe elements? If yes, when aRead more
I understand and like ‘Alien seeks vengeance against cop who killed his friend/comrade/x,’ though more would still be needed for the next logline attempt. The rest is confusing and seems to dilute the hook of ‘alien vengeance.’
Is this really sci-fi with multiple make-believe elements? If yes, when and where is this? Outside sci-fi, the story would have one, either the aliens or future timeline being, which sounds more like time travel.
Frame the next attempt from the protag’s perspective. Clarify the objective, antag, conflict, and stakes. Paint a mental picture of what happens in most of the story.
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