1. Posted: April 18, 2019In:

    Destiny brings a lonely sketch artist and a bohemian girl together. Despite fate granting them one night, they are forever bound by a magical origami legend.

    Best Answer
    Robb Ross Samurai

    Say more about the sketch artist since "lonely" is either assumed or not as significant as a flaw or issue. Since they're in the same ballpark (an artist and a bohemian), the external conflict is even more important? Or make them opposites in some way.? Same with the girl, "bohemian" may not be enouRead more

    Say more about the sketch artist since “lonely” is either assumed or not as significant as a flaw or issue. Since they’re in the same ballpark (an artist and a bohemian), the external conflict is even more important? Or make them opposites in some way.? Same with the girl, “bohemian” may not be enough if the story is equally about the two…a two-hander, as they say, as opposed to a one-hander romance that is more about one character being completed by the other.

    Explain the legend in a way that is understood.

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  2. Posted: April 17, 2019In:

    When a naive girl is captured by a group of people smugglers, she will create a plan to escape from the hell in which she is

    Robb Ross Samurai

    Yup, and add specifics for the mental picture, like where this is.

    Yup, and add specifics for the mental picture, like where this is.

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  3. Posted: April 13, 2019In:

    In 1977, a reformed ex-con must return to New York City?s violent underworld in order to save his childhood best friend from a dangerous gangster.

    Robb Ross Samurai

    Yup, and clarify how they plan to make the money. The implication is by selling drugs, though that?s likely not a protag I?d care about. Is $10k in a week enough a challenge?

    Yup, and clarify how they plan to make the money. The implication is by selling drugs, though that?s likely not a protag I?d care about.

    Is $10k in a week enough a challenge?

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