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In 1977, a reformed ex-con must return to New York City?s violent underworld in order to save his childhood best friend from a dangerous gangster.
Another way of looking at the jeopardy is to paint more of the picture since "must return" is a moment, not most of the story. For example, "...must infiltrate a Mafia family in order to find and save..." >> violent underworld >>dangerous gangster. Both adjectives are redundant. As aboveRead more
Another way of looking at the jeopardy is to paint more of the picture since “must return” is a moment, not most of the story. For example, “…must infiltrate a Mafia family in order to find and save…”
>> violent underworld
>>dangerous gangster.
Both adjectives are redundant. As above, use the space for specifics.
See lessA retired spy living the high life on the French Riviera must confront his dark, shameful past when he is blackmailed into entrapping a Nazi war criminal.
As well... >> living the high life on the French Riviera Can be replaced with one or two words, like "comfortably retired."? The details are for the script. Say more for the mental picture. For example, "After being blackmailed into it, (the protag) befriends a? Nazi war criminal in (location)Read more
As well…
>> living the high life on the French Riviera
Can be replaced with one or two words, like “comfortably retired.”? The details are for the script.
Say more for the mental picture. For example, “After being blackmailed into it, (the protag) befriends a? Nazi war criminal in (location) as part of a scheme to….”
Add the year.
Make sure the stakes are clear.
See lessWhen a former commando steals secret government documents, he races to prevent a warmongering dictator from obtaining powerful alien technology to start an interplanetary war.
The dictator-alien war part has promise.Keep in mind another purpose of a logline is to test the appeal of the idea before spending months on the script. As they say, if a good story can't told be in a sentence or two, it won't become good over 100 pages. Hopefully there is a good one here and it'sRead more
The dictator-alien war part has promise.
Keep in mind another purpose of a logline is to test the appeal of the idea before spending months on the script. As they say, if a good story can’t told be in a sentence or two, it won’t become good over 100 pages. Hopefully there is a good one here and it’s just a matter of the logline. But we can only hope so since this version of the? logline raises bad questions instead of good ones…
See less