Sign Up Sign Up

Captcha Click on image to update the captcha.

Have an account? Sign In Now

Sign In Sign In

Forgot Password?

If you'd like access, Sign Up Here

Forgot Password Forgot Password

Lost your password? Please enter your email address. You will receive a link and will create a new password via email.

Captcha Click on image to update the captcha.

Have an account? Sign In Now

Sorry, you do not have permission to ask a question, You must login to ask a question.

Forgot Password?

To see everything, Sign Up Here

Sorry, you do not have permission to ask a question, You must login to ask a question.

Forgot Password?

To see everything, Sign Up Here

Please briefly explain why you feel this question should be reported.

Please briefly explain why you feel this answer should be reported.

Please briefly explain why you feel this user should be reported.

Logline It! Logo Logline It! Logo
Sign InSign Up

Logline It!

Logline It! Navigation

  • Sign Up
  • Logline Generator
  • Learn our simple Logline Formula
  • Search Loglines
Search
Post Your Logline

Mobile menu

Close
Post Your Logline
  • Signup
  • Sign Up
  • Logline Generator
  • Learn our simple Logline Formula
  • Search Loglines
  • About
  • Questions
  • Answers
  • Best Answers
  1. Posted: April 13, 2019In: Thriller

    A retired spy living the high life on the French Riviera must confront his dark, shameful past when he is blackmailed into entrapping a Nazi war criminal.

    Robb Ross Samurai
    Added an answer on April 17, 2019 at 11:17 am

    So now the other guy lives in the FR?At least for now or yourself, go with a longer logline to nail the essentials.In 1962, a retired British agent living a life of pennance over collaborating with the Nazis is blackmailed into spying on an American agent with the same past and who's living large inRead more

    So now the other guy lives in the FR?

    At least for now or yourself, go with a longer logline to nail the essentials.

    In 1962, a retired British agent living a life of pennance over collaborating with the Nazis is blackmailed into spying on an American agent with the same past and who’s living large in the French Riviera. After… and here is the bulk of the story, no?

    Does something go wrong after he starts spying? Since spying isn’t difficult for him, what is the conflict? What is the purpose of the spying, to capture the antag? The purpose sounds like the real stakes, not the protag’s life.

    Pennance is an example of why we should care about this protag when he worked alongside the Germans.Though can anything make us care enough? We want him to succeed, right? Consider revealing his past near the end of the script, which would mean removing it from the logline. If it is removed, still paint more of the picture and, assuming, contrast between the two.

    Assuming he still feels shame, does he need to be blackmailed into it? Seems he would take on the job because he sees it as a way to redeem some of his past.

    See less
    • 0
    • Share
      Share
      • Share on Facebook
      • Share on Twitter
      • Share on LinkedIn
      • Share on WhatsApp
  2. Posted: April 16, 2019In: SciFi

    Once twins find out they live powerful family and part of a prophecy, are rescued from Earth, they must fulfill their destiny to destroy the dictator.

    Robb Ross Samurai
    Added an answer on April 17, 2019 at 10:23 am

    Yup, for starters, the language needs to be clear. Add specifics and missing parts. Are the twins two girls or two boys or one of each? Are they teens? Dictator where?? What's the difficulty in destroying him or what's the? plan? What are the stakes, what would happen if they fail? Is a prophecy reaRead more

    Yup, for starters, the language needs to be clear.

    Add specifics and missing parts. Are the twins two girls or two boys or one of each? Are they teens? Dictator where?? What’s the difficulty in destroying him or what’s the? plan? What are the stakes, what would happen if they fail?

    Is a prophecy really needed? They’re so overdone, which means it needs an especially fresh angle or twist to tell readers that this writer is being original.

    See less
    • 0
    • Share
      Share
      • Share on Facebook
      • Share on Twitter
      • Share on LinkedIn
      • Share on WhatsApp
  3. Posted: April 15, 2019In: Thriller

    After a night out drowning her sorrows, a lonely woman wakes up next to a man she just met and discovers they are on his boat in the middle of the ocean and it?s sinking fast.

    Robb Ross Samurai
    Added an answer on April 16, 2019 at 12:33 am

    Is this a comedy-thriller? That would be different since there have been a few thrillers/dramas (and who knows how many scripts) with this general predicament.What is the purpose of this happening with a stranger, what extra conflict comes from it? They both want to survive and will work together, iRead more

    Is this a comedy-thriller? That would be different since there have been a few thrillers/dramas (and who knows how many scripts) with this general predicament.

    What is the purpose of this happening with a stranger, what extra conflict comes from it? They both want to survive and will work together, it seems. Clarify if it’s a matter of one or both hating or mistrusting the other or…

    While lonely is good in general, it is assumed with this kind of character and better to say something more significant about her. Same with the co-lead, we need more than “a man.”

    Is the boat a yacht? Be specific.

    See less
    • 0
    • Share
      Share
      • Share on Facebook
      • Share on Twitter
      • Share on LinkedIn
      • Share on WhatsApp
1 … 13 14 15 16 17 … 41

Sidebar

Stats

  • Loglines 7,997
  • Reviews 32,189
  • Best Reviews 629
  • Users 3,710

screenwriting courses

Adv 120x600

aalan

Explore

  • Signup

Footer

© 2022 Karel Segers. All Rights Reserved
With Love from Immersion Screenwriting.