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A retired spy living the high life on the French Riviera must confront his dark, shameful past when he is blackmailed into entrapping a Nazi war criminal.
So now the other guy lives in the FR?At least for now or yourself, go with a longer logline to nail the essentials.In 1962, a retired British agent living a life of pennance over collaborating with the Nazis is blackmailed into spying on an American agent with the same past and who's living large inRead more
So now the other guy lives in the FR?
At least for now or yourself, go with a longer logline to nail the essentials.
In 1962, a retired British agent living a life of pennance over collaborating with the Nazis is blackmailed into spying on an American agent with the same past and who’s living large in the French Riviera. After… and here is the bulk of the story, no?
Does something go wrong after he starts spying? Since spying isn’t difficult for him, what is the conflict? What is the purpose of the spying, to capture the antag? The purpose sounds like the real stakes, not the protag’s life.
Pennance is an example of why we should care about this protag when he worked alongside the Germans.Though can anything make us care enough? We want him to succeed, right? Consider revealing his past near the end of the script, which would mean removing it from the logline. If it is removed, still paint more of the picture and, assuming, contrast between the two.
Assuming he still feels shame, does he need to be blackmailed into it? Seems he would take on the job because he sees it as a way to redeem some of his past.
See lessOnce twins find out they live powerful family and part of a prophecy, are rescued from Earth, they must fulfill their destiny to destroy the dictator.
Yup, for starters, the language needs to be clear. Add specifics and missing parts. Are the twins two girls or two boys or one of each? Are they teens? Dictator where?? What's the difficulty in destroying him or what's the? plan? What are the stakes, what would happen if they fail? Is a prophecy reaRead more
Yup, for starters, the language needs to be clear.
Add specifics and missing parts. Are the twins two girls or two boys or one of each? Are they teens? Dictator where?? What’s the difficulty in destroying him or what’s the? plan? What are the stakes, what would happen if they fail?
Is a prophecy really needed? They’re so overdone, which means it needs an especially fresh angle or twist to tell readers that this writer is being original.
See lessAfter a night out drowning her sorrows, a lonely woman wakes up next to a man she just met and discovers they are on his boat in the middle of the ocean and it?s sinking fast.
Is this a comedy-thriller? That would be different since there have been a few thrillers/dramas (and who knows how many scripts) with this general predicament.What is the purpose of this happening with a stranger, what extra conflict comes from it? They both want to survive and will work together, iRead more
Is this a comedy-thriller? That would be different since there have been a few thrillers/dramas (and who knows how many scripts) with this general predicament.
What is the purpose of this happening with a stranger, what extra conflict comes from it? They both want to survive and will work together, it seems. Clarify if it’s a matter of one or both hating or mistrusting the other or…
While lonely is good in general, it is assumed with this kind of character and better to say something more significant about her. Same with the co-lead, we need more than “a man.”
Is the boat a yacht? Be specific.
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