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Endoloution
I think what's missing here is some insight on what the biologist's disposition is to the task at hand.? Is the biologist opposed in any way to killing, but he's being coerced in some way, or convinced that this is necessary?? Is he up for it, but some activists want to stop him? Something else to cRead more
I think what’s missing here is some insight on what the biologist’s disposition is to the task at hand.? Is the biologist opposed in any way to killing, but he’s being coerced in some way, or convinced that this is necessary?? Is he up for it, but some activists want to stop him?
Something else to consider, is maybe this is just part of the plot.? I think pretty common is where the “policy enforcer” comes across a target that he doesn’t want to kill and/or gets targeted himself.? It’s a tried and true structure that might work well for this.
See lessLos Angeles, 1988: When his estranged daughter needs money for drama school, an ex-master criminal turned stuntman plans an elaborate heist during the filming of an elaborate heist movie known as ?Die Hard?.
The main thing I don't understand is, why would such a criminal be unlucky?? I feel it's supposed to be apparent to us from the logline, which would be great as a hook, but it's not.? I'd think, if there was another distracting elaborate heist, you might have an easier time pulling yours off, becausRead more
The main thing I don’t understand is, why would such a criminal be unlucky?? I feel it’s supposed to be apparent to us from the logline, which would be great as a hook, but it’s not.? I’d think, if there was another distracting elaborate heist, you might have an easier time pulling yours off, because it could be a nice distraction, and you might even get access to places you wouldn’t, pretending to be a production assistant or catering and walkin’ like you own it.
See lessA journalist who escaped an abusive religious cult plans to sneak back in and get his younger brother out, but his plan goes awry when the cult leader’s prophecies come true and all current members receive supernatural powers.
The premise seems fun, but, I think my main issue is that it's wordy.? This might not be the best phrasing, but it still seems to capture the hook: A journalist returns to free his younger brother from an abusive cult with supernatural powers. You have a lot of extra words specifying when and how thRead more
The premise seems fun, but, I think my main issue is that it’s wordy.? This might not be the best phrasing, but it still seems to capture the hook:
A journalist returns to free his younger brother from an abusive cult with supernatural powers.
You have a lot of extra words specifying when and how those superpowers manifest, but it doesn’t seem important enough.
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