Have an account? Sign In Now
Lost your password? Please enter your email address. You will receive a link and will create a new password via email.
Please briefly explain why you feel this question should be reported.
Please briefly explain why you feel this answer should be reported.
Please briefly explain why you feel this user should be reported.
When a basketball star learns of his own childhood abduction and time lost with his now deceased father, emotions and fears become his fiercest rival, putting the national championship in jeopardy.
It IS better. I don't think even a mention of the father is nec. When you find out you've been abducted, there's A LOT of things you missed out on, including his father. I don't see the need for it in the logline, as it is ancillary to the plot, not the plot itself, I don't believe. You'll need someRead more
It IS better. I don’t think even a mention of the father is nec. When you find out you’ve been abducted, there’s A LOT of things you missed out on, including his father. I don’t see the need for it in the logline, as it is ancillary to the plot, not the plot itself, I don’t believe. You’ll need something “ironic”, thereby making the discovery of the letter and included information puts his championship in jeopardy. Perhaps his team’s coach is his mother’s husband (whom he grew up thinking was his real Dad), now he’s torn between winning for his team and himself, or not winning because he now hates that guy. Something like that; it’s called “internal conflict”, and this is the element that drives most, if not all, movies.
(Hey- if this were easy, we wouldn’t NEED this site!)
Geno Scala (sharkeatingman), judge.
See lessWhen an ancient bounty hunter arrives to destroy all knowledge of alien influence, an alien sheriff must rely on gunmanship alone to save her small western town.
I like the logline exactly the way it is. As for the other comments...yours is still just a logline, while "Cowboys and Aliens" is part of history, raking in millions upon millions of dollars. Stay humble. You've done well on the logline, and continued good luck moving forward on the project. Geno SRead more
I like the logline exactly the way it is. As for the other comments…yours is still just a logline, while “Cowboys and Aliens” is part of history, raking in millions upon millions of dollars.
Stay humble. You’ve done well on the logline, and continued good luck moving forward on the project.
Geno Scala (sharkeatingman), judge
See lessAbducted as a small child by his fugitive mother, a now college hoops star discovers a posthumous letter written by his long-lost father, inspiring him and his under-the-radar teammates to a shot at championship glory.
I like where you're going with this, but it's a little messy right now. Always a good idea to start off with words like "Before", "When", "After, or "As". This forces you to "answer the question". You have some extraneous info in the logline, which is "prime real estate" for words, as you want to liRead more
I like where you’re going with this, but it’s a little messy right now.
Always a good idea to start off with words like “Before”, “When”, “After, or “As”. This forces you to “answer the question”.
You have some extraneous info in the logline, which is “prime real estate” for words, as you want to limit it to 30 words or less.
The letter is not posthumous; this implies it was written AFTER the father’s death; finding the letter posthumously is the correct sentence.
I like either title, btw.
“When a basketball star learns of his own childhood abduction and the time lost with his father, he struggles with emotions and fears that puts the national championship in jeopardy.”
Geno Scala (sharkeatingman), judge.
See less