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A family-owned country club is inherited by a college dropout who struggles to prove his ability to manage the ongoing escapades of a chaotic work environment.
Let me guess- stars Adam Sandler? Sounds like one of those screwball comedies from the 80's- "Happy Gilmore", "Up The River", "Night Shift". Some settings were ski resorts, golf courses, summer camps, etc. If you start your logline with "As", "When", "After", or "Because", it forces to ASK and ANSWERead more
Let me guess- stars Adam Sandler? Sounds like one of those screwball comedies from the 80’s- “Happy Gilmore”, “Up The River”, “Night Shift”. Some settings were ski resorts, golf courses, summer camps, etc.
If you start your logline with “As”, “When”, “After”, or “Because”, it forces to ASK and ANSWER the “question”. The problem as I see it is that it lacks any real GOAL or STAKES. His goal is to prove he can “manage a chaotic work environment”? Sounds like a fairly tame premise to devote to a ninety minute movie idea.
Why not have the dropout try to save the resort from foreclosure due to back taxes or something? It’s all a bit cliche, but, if done well, could be fun. The title’s excellent as well.
Geno Scala (sharkeatingman)- judge
See lessWhen a Newly recruited police officer discovers that his younger sister is a serial killer, he does everything to keep anyone from finding out.
One of the issues I see right off the bat is the genre. Without knowing what the "everything" implies, one can't tell if it's a drama, a crime drama, a comedy, or a dark comedy (yes, you can make a serial killer-themed story funny). To me, the whole logline is a bit clunky and lacks depth. It's missRead more
One of the issues I see right off the bat is the genre. Without knowing what the “everything” implies, one can’t tell if it’s a drama, a crime drama, a comedy, or a dark comedy (yes, you can make a serial killer-themed story funny). To me, the whole logline is a bit clunky and lacks depth. It’s missing an antagonist, an obstacle and the stakes, but have an excellent starting point with the word “When”:
“When a top police recruit discovers his sister is the killer terrorizing his city, he struggles to maintain his acclaimed reputation while sabotaging the detective bent on killing the killer.” (30 words)
Geno Scala (sharkeatingman)- judge
See lessWhen the Royal Physician is murdered, the only witness, a once promising young surgeon, must save the Queen's Secret Court from a strange race of alien streetwalkers.
The previous comment was brought to you by Geno Scala, sharkeatingman (judge)
The previous comment was brought to you by Geno Scala, sharkeatingman (judge)
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