“In order to help mentally disturbed student, a (school) psychologist must confront his own personal demons to prevent the mysterious “Slender Man” from taking his next child victim.”

As Karel said, your protag (psychologist) has to have some sort of character arc, so you may want to start him off as timid and not willing to face his own personal fears/repressed memories. When given the ultimate option of coming forth to save another – this time, a teenager – he knows what he has to do to save him. You have the protag, the antag, the goal, the stakes and the genre pretty clealry depicted (as long as it’s NOT a rom/com!). What the story lacks is the real “hook”; what separates this from other movies of the same genre (The Butterfly Effect”, “Mothman” and others)? This is were concept development is so important. On the surface, it mind sound like a cool story to write, and it does. Ultimately, yo’ll want to DO something with it, and without a “hook”, it’s an even harder hill to climb.

Hope this was helpful.

(Geno Scala, “sharkeatingman” – judge)

Try starting off with the line “After escaping…”. You should try to start loglines with active words, like “after”, “when”, “as”, etc. I personally never include the genre in the logline either, because a well-done logline shuld automatically tell you the genre. Avoid repeating words, too. “Sex” is mentioned twice, and implied three other times.

With that in mind…
“After escaping a psychological detox camp, two lost and horny sex addicts must rely on each other to survive the elements, while controlling their voracious- but dangerous- cravings for intimacy.”

It’s not the best (it’s not funny enough, really), but hopefully you get the idea. I’d work on ratcheting up the irony of the situation. As a concept, I think it has potential. Good job!