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A teenage girl saves the life of an old woman, who in return, grants the girl one wish ? to be anyone but herself.
Hi Geoff, and welcome! As far as the logline is concerned, I think it says all it needs to say, truthfully. I can't think of a thing I would change. Good job!
Hi Geoff, and welcome! As far as the logline is concerned, I think it says all it needs to say, truthfully. I can’t think of a thing I would change. Good job!
See lessTo stop her ex-husband from stealing the Mona Lisa, a world-class cat burglar turned security expert must illegally install her own security in the Louvre.
I agree with Patrockable. I think it is excelent. It somewhat gets clumsy at the end with "install her own security at the Louvre", though. Instead of being so specific as to what she wants to do (install her own security), try explaining what she HAS to do: she HAS to beat him to the punch, she HASRead more
I agree with Patrockable. I think it is excelent. It somewhat gets clumsy at the end with “install her own security at the Louvre”, though. Instead of being so specific as to what she wants to do (install her own security), try explaining what she HAS to do: she HAS to beat him to the punch, she HAS to keep her past career as a cat-burglar a secret (assuming that it is), and HAS to protect the Mona Lisa at all costs.
That is one tricky scenario and does make me want to at least read how you pull it off. Great job, CaveDude21!
“A security chief, and former cat-burglar, must stop her ex-husband’s heist of the Mona Lisa by bypassing her security and preventing the masterpiece- and her secret past- from getting out!”
See less1895 in Central Queensland and, with the country in turmoil, a young city poet and journalist travels to a remote sheep station to track down a political agitator. When the clashes between union shearers and landowners turn to violence, a man is found dead in a billabong. Was it suicide or murder?
I like the logline, and the only flaw I see is that it is too wordy. I'm not a big fan of two sentence loglines, but I think this could work if it can't be trimmed to one. One issue is asking if it was murder or suicide. You've given evidence of sorts to possible murder, but no reason to indicate suRead more
I like the logline, and the only flaw I see is that it is too wordy. I’m not a big fan of two sentence loglines, but I think this could work if it can’t be trimmed to one.
One issue is asking if it was murder or suicide. You’ve given evidence of sorts to possible murder, but no reason to indicate suicide.
“In 19th Century Queensland, during the union shearers and landowners clashes, a naive journalist travels to a remote sheep station and discovers the possible murder of a political agitator found dead in a billabong.”
Geno Scala- judge
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