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When a woman has to leave her abusive husband, she moves to a remote community and must unite them with a school singing competition.
Pretty much covered by the other comments; take special heed of jamesmichael's advice on this one. One issue with me, though: I don't think "abusive husband" is a good jumping off point for a "comedy"- inspirational or not. You may have an inspirational story, but don't water it down with "comedy" fRead more
Pretty much covered by the other comments; take special heed of jamesmichael’s advice on this one. One issue with me, though: I don’t think “abusive husband” is a good jumping off point for a “comedy”- inspirational or not. You may have an inspirational story, but don’t water it down with “comedy” for comedy sake. Most movies- incuding inspirational ones- have funny lines, or funny parts, or funny characters, but are not classified as comedies. I’d give this a long, hard look before deciding this as a genre, or changing the reason for her leaving althogether. Just my two cents…
See lessArthur survives a werewolf attack. With no clue or cure and a new moon rising, the hunter on his tail has all the answers.
Andrew- the age is irrelevant, unless, of course, it's relevant. Same with names. The protag is wildlife enthusiast. How would you describe him, character-wise? Lonely, blind, gay, obsessive-compulsive? The antag is the hunter. We have no further info on this person/thing. Goal- Cure his lycanthropyRead more
Andrew- the age is irrelevant, unless, of course, it’s relevant. Same with names.
The protag is wildlife enthusiast. How would you describe him, character-wise? Lonely, blind, gay, obsessive-compulsive?
The antag is the hunter. We have no further info on this person/thing.
Goal- Cure his lycanthropy? He had another goal before he was bitten; what was it? If you use irony, it could be to save the grey wolves from extinction or something along those lines.
Stakes- Dying, staying a werewolf…
Inner conflict- wants to save wolves, now has become one?
Outer conflcit- running from “hunter”
Hook- the hunter becomes the hunted?
Genre- horror
Once you answer all of these elements, the logline almost writes itself. Then, by rearranging or replacing words with more colorful, useful descriptive and action words, you should reduce the larger phrases to one or two word phrases, and get the logline to under thirty words- 25 if possible. For example:
“A game warden battling illegal poachers, contracts the werewolf virus, and must now protect the dwindling wolf population, including himself, from a sadistic pelt smuggler.”
(Probably not your story, but…)
Protag- game warden
See lessAntag- sadistic pelt smuggler
Goal- protect himself, protect dwindling wolf population, catch poachers
Inner Conflict- has become a werewolf
Outer Conflict- battles poachers and sadistic pelt smuggler
Irony- once protector of wolves, has now become one.
Hook- werewolf game warden
Genre- horror
Undecided
Seems a bit underwhelming. Phrases like "useless", "fulfilling life", "sufficient amount" lack any real depth, making the logline and the concept itself hum-drum and fairly shallow. Try picking out better descriptive words here, and you'll ratchet up the intrigue some. "A Pathetic, inconsequential pRead more
Seems a bit underwhelming. Phrases like “useless”, “fulfilling life”, “sufficient amount” lack any real depth, making the logline and the concept itself hum-drum and fairly shallow.
Try picking out better descriptive words here, and you’ll ratchet up the intrigue some.
“A Pathetic, inconsequential pauper discovers that, even with sudden fame and fortune, life can still be meaningless without the love of a good woman.”
Now, I admit, that’s a terrible logline ripe with cliches, but I hope you get what I’m trying to say. More colorful, expressive descriptives words with improved conflict and irony, can take a logline from good to great.
I hope this was helpful in some way.
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