1. Posted: December 19, 2020In:

    A detective fiction writer becomes convinced her lover’s death wasn’t a suicide and must prove his brilliant wife is a killer before becoming the next victim.

    sloanpeterson Logliner

    This is confusing because it sounds like the protagonist has two professions, a detective and a fiction writer. It took me a while to figure out you probably mean a writer of fiction in the detective genre. There must be a less confusing way to write that. I also think there might be a better descriRead more

    This is confusing because it sounds like the protagonist has two professions, a detective and a fiction writer. It took me a while to figure out you probably mean a writer of fiction in the detective genre. There must be a less confusing way to write that.
    I also think there might be a better descriptor for the wife than brilliant which to me sounds like talented.
    Other than that, I like it.

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  2. Posted: December 17, 2020In:

    Convinced by prominent comedians that marriage will make him funnier, a struggling comic takes their joke seriously and elopes only to find his bride wants a marriage so peaceful that in order to find the comedy in it, he’ll have to up his game.

    sloanpeterson Logliner

    Thanks!

    Thanks!

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  3. Posted: December 15, 2020In:

    EDITED: In Victorian London a ruthless spy battles a fanatic telepath to thwart his plot to kill the Queen and plunge the world into war.

    sloanpeterson Logliner

    I like your original and alibenson's version. The later versions muddy the water and make it sound complicated. The first one gets right to the point. Just one opinion.

    I like your original and alibenson’s version. The later versions muddy the water and make it sound complicated. The first one gets right to the point. Just one opinion.

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