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A young girl runs away from her sharecropping life to pursue her dream of becoming a blues legend.
If it's a biopic, the log line works fine as far as telling what the story is about, but it would benefit from telling?what the stakes or opposition are. ?If she fails to become a blues singer, she can just return to sharecropping and no harm done it seems. ?Who is opposed to her following her dreamRead more
If it’s a biopic, the log line works fine as far as telling what the story is about, but it would benefit from telling?what the stakes or opposition are. ?If she fails to become a blues singer, she can just return to sharecropping and no harm done it seems. ?Who is opposed to her following her dreams which is something most people would support. ?The Johnny Cash and Ray Charles biopics depict a lot of the struggle and this log line doesn’t seem to hint toward any kind of struggle.
See lessAfter sneaking out to attend the party of the year only to have things go horribly wrong, the straight-laced daughter of the police chief must employ criminal tactics to avoid being caught by the cops.
Thanks so much for the suggestions! ?I would love to put more about her motivation and what things go wrong, but I do recognize that it is too long already. ?Maybe this edit? After sneaking out to the party of the year only to have the night?go horribly wrong, the straight-laced daughter of the poliRead more
Thanks so much for the suggestions! ?I would love to put more about her motivation and what things go wrong, but I do recognize that it is too long already. ?Maybe this edit?
After sneaking out to the party of the year only to have the night?go horribly wrong, the straight-laced daughter of the police chief must employ criminal tactics to get home without being caught.
Or this change?
Ruled by her police chief father?s iron fist, a naive teen sneaks out for a night of fun, but when things go horribly wrong, she must employ criminal tactics to get home without being caught.
Again, I appreciate the input. ?Log lines are so much harder than they seem.
See lessWhen an ?typical couple of thieves, tempted by the promise of money, get mixed up in the love triangle of two witches and a king, they will have to risk their lives to ensure the gates of hell remain shut.
I don't see how it can be a love triangle if there are two witches and two thieves. ?You also refer to them as "the two Witches (which wouldn't be capitalized). ?Why "the"? ?It implies we should know who the two witches are. ?(The first comma is also unneeded.) Other than that, it sounds intriguing.Read more
I don’t see how it can be a love triangle if there are two witches and two thieves. ?You also refer to them as “the two Witches (which wouldn’t be capitalized). ?Why “the”? ?It implies we should know who the two witches are. ?(The first comma is also unneeded.)
See lessOther than that, it sounds intriguing. ?Keeping the door to hell locked seems like it’s definitely an important goal.