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Trish Humphries a self-absorbed news reporter who just moved to New York finally gets her own talk show. She thinks it’s in a big network, but it’s really just public access. Now she has to learn how to work with her new team and balance her open relationship with her three boyfriends while pursuing her dream to be famous.
I actually like this concept (at least the possibilities)! The logline can be a lot tighter, and as other have mentioned the name should be excluded. The 3 boyfriends element sounds extraneous the way it is written right now in the logline. So something like,"A self-absorbed reporter lands a big talRead more
I actually like this concept (at least the possibilities)! The logline can be a lot tighter, and as other have mentioned the name should be excluded. The 3 boyfriends element sounds extraneous the way it is written right now in the logline. So something like,
“A self-absorbed reporter lands a big talk show in New York only to discover it is actually for a small public access channel, and must…”
The comedy tone actually comes through to me. But the main storyline is not quite there yet.
The rest of the logline could be somewhat open-ended (“must re-consider her values and goals in order to succeed with her new team”) or better yet something specific related to the plot- is there some big show or deadline, or maybe she has to actually save the public access channel from cancellation?
“A self-absorbed reporter lands a big New York talk show only to discover it is actually for a small public access channel, and must reconsider?her goals and ambitions to help save the channel?from going off the air.” Anyway, something like that…
See lessWhen a survivor of a train crash disrupts her life, a young woman must overcome her circle?s hostility and cope with the abortion she denied for ten years
There is absolutely nothing specific in this logline, everything is vague ("dramatic circumstances", "path forward").?What were those circumstances? What does/must she do to overcome her trauma, what is her specific path forward? Usually, the protag's change is catalyzed?by an inciting incident (untRead more
There is absolutely nothing specific in this logline, everything is vague (“dramatic circumstances”, “path forward”).?What were those circumstances? What does/must she do to overcome her trauma, what is her specific path forward?
Usually, the protag’s change is catalyzed?by an inciting incident (until then it was business as usual, which in her case means living with unresolved trauma).
So something like “Still traumatized by her painful past, a battered woman…”
See lessWhen testing a space-time machine, a brilliant young scientist finds herself stranded in space and time searching for a way home after her machine breaks down.
The stranded in space/time concept is very interesting, although I agree it needs clarity/more specific detail. Like "When testing a space-time machine, a brilliant young scientist finds herself stranded in {WHERE/WHEN]?searching for a way home after her machine breaks down." Where/when could be anyRead more
The stranded in space/time concept is very interesting, although I agree it needs clarity/more specific detail. Like
“When testing a space-time machine, a brilliant young scientist finds herself stranded in {WHERE/WHEN]?searching for a way home after her machine breaks down.”
Where/when could be anything as far as we know- 500 years in the future or past, 10 galaxies over, etc.?It appears you have a very specific setting in mind where the show takes place (as opposed to say a series where the protag is in a different place every episode). So I would describe that place (advanced alien race, etc.)
I think the WHERE/WHEN would probably be a key to how or why your TV show is compelling, so that needs to be in the logline.
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