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A desperate CEO’s legally ambiguous plans to save his company are undermined when he is blackmailed by a mysterious ex-employee.
Thanks all for the wonderful feedback! I am going to think it over for a couple of days to try to fill out some of these details, and incorporate them in the longline.
Thanks all for the wonderful feedback! I am going to think it over for a couple of days to try to fill out some of these details, and incorporate them in the longline.
See lessAn unforgiving former marine must enter his own mind to confront an unmerciful government assassin hidden within his subconsciousness who’s threatening to leak top secret files if his demands to have full control of their body aren’t meet by his government creators.
Setting aside filmability concerns for a moment (which could perhaps be addressed by using Inception 'dreamworld' type scenes to show the conflict between protag and antag)... I don't like 'unforgiving' as the main descriptor for the marine. Is he hardened, repressed, disillusioned, traumatized, etcRead more
Setting aside filmability concerns for a moment (which could perhaps be addressed by using Inception ‘dreamworld’ type scenes to show the conflict between protag and antag)…
I don’t like ‘unforgiving’ as the main descriptor for the marine. Is he hardened, repressed, disillusioned, traumatized, etc.? Something like that would be a better description of his personality.
I think Leon’s suggested log line is structurally better. Instead of “top secret files,” shouldn’t it be “top secret information”? (which could be visualized as files in the movie, as in Inception.) Actually, the more I think of it the more it seems like a reverse Inception-type in which protag and antag are reversed (not necessarily a bad thing.)
See lessWhen a disheartened pastor?s one-time love turned wild celebrity whirls back into his small town, he falls for her, not knowing if she will be his ruin or his revival.
This is interesting.It's missing a bit of what he actually does in the main storyline. Is their some main plot going on in the story world, besides him getting involved with the girl again? Also, I'm not sure if 'disheartened' is the right word, it's descriptive but vague as well.I'm going to guessRead more
This is interesting.
It’s missing a bit of what he actually does in the main storyline. Is their some main plot going on in the story world, besides him getting involved with the girl again? Also, I’m not sure if ‘disheartened’ is the right word, it’s descriptive but vague as well.
I’m going to guess that the celebrity sort of re-ignites his passion for life as well as his calling to God, but also jeopardizes his reputation and livelihood as well, which is a very?nice?classic setup for a romance or rom-com. But we’re not quite getting the clear picture?in the log line.
I think this story could really work.
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