1. Posted: May 9, 2013In:

    An ex-detective with a troubled past moves to a small town in northern ireland where he discovers a bad omen by the shores.

    storyutbildningen

    Here's the problem with your logline: You've got a character, you've got an inciting incident but no story so far. What happens when he discovers the omen (whatever it is). What does he have to do? That's what your logline need. Hope that helps =) Gustaf/Storyutbildningen

    Here’s the problem with your logline: You’ve got a character, you’ve got an inciting incident but no story so far. What happens when he discovers the omen (whatever it is). What does he have to do?
    That’s what your logline need.

    Hope that helps =)

    Gustaf/Storyutbildningen

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  2. Posted: May 3, 2013In:

    When a Midsummer celebration turns into a hostage situation, a washed up writer must save his friends and family from being killed by a quintet of desperate bankrobbers.

    storyutbildningen

    nicholasandrewhalls: The midsummer is celebrated on a small island in Stockholms archipelago, where the bankrobbers thought they could hide in what they belived was an aboned house. It's isolated, far from any other inhabited island and the contacts with the mainland has been cut off. Didn't manageRead more

    nicholasandrewhalls: The midsummer is celebrated on a small island in Stockholms archipelago, where the bankrobbers thought they could hide in what they belived was an aboned house. It’s isolated, far from any other inhabited island and the contacts with the mainland has been cut off. Didn’t manage to fit that into the logline.

    Thanks for the feedback. =)
    And Tony Edward: Thanks. Now I know that I’ve got an audience =D
    Gustaf/Storyutbildningen

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  3. Posted: May 1, 2013In:

    A young couple travel to a chinese restaurant; little do they know that an encounter with a coven of witches is on tonights menu.

    storyutbildningen

    Good premise, but you don't tell us what the main characters must do. What are their actions when they find out that the witches are at the restaurant? Gustaf/Storyutbildningen

    Good premise, but you don’t tell us what the main characters must do. What are their actions when they find out that the witches are at the restaurant?

    Gustaf/Storyutbildningen

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