Sounds like a great premise – something I’d definitely watch. ?As I read through it, I instantly got really strong images of scenes and conflict!

My thoughts were:

• 11 years is a fair gap between WW1 and the US great depression. ?Has be been in contact with his mate since then, or has the letter delivery been requested in the suicide note? ?I read your last comment later, but I’m still unsure why he’d promise him he would deliver a letter rather than try to convince him not to kill himself.
• Could you remove “WW1” from the longline completely and bring it in as part of the backstory?
• I’m not sure about the homeless element. ?Him ‘going that way anyway’ doesn’t seem very proactive whereas him leaving voluntarily (maybe choosing the mission over his efforts to scrimp a living off the land) seems more likely to convey the strength of their friendship.
• Is the long lost love actually lost to his mate? ?How would he find her?… or is she more that one that got away?
• Maybe the time with his old mates helps him make a choice between going back to his ranch and scraping a living or moving on to a new life in Cali and not having any regrets like his dead pal?