1. Posted: September 12, 2019In:

    An assassin with a split personality is hired to protect a client who, unknowingly, his other personality has been hired to kill.

    Trix Samurai

    Brilliant - Just thinking about making that play out well makes my head ache, but this is a brilliant hook!

    Brilliant – Just thinking about making that play out well makes my head ache, but this is a brilliant hook!

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  2. Posted: January 10, 2020In:

    During a near-future nuclear war, when an A-bomb forces her into a public bunker, an optimistic head-nurse and mother takes charge of the eclectic group of strangers to ensure they survive the mandatory month-long confinement

    Trix Samurai

    A couple of thoughts: Do you need "during a near-future nuclear war"? ?I admit that "the mandatory month-long confinement" may seem confusing without it, but "When an A-bomb" also tells us it's a nuclear war. I'm wondering how 'near' the future is - I'm trying to imagine how long would it be beforeRead more

    A couple of thoughts:

    • Do you need “during a near-future nuclear war”? ?I admit that “the mandatory month-long confinement” may seem confusing without it, but “When an A-bomb” also tells us it’s a nuclear war.
    • I’m wondering how ‘near’ the future is – I’m trying to imagine how long would it be before we’d survive with a system of confinement protocols and when we’d be able to leave after just one month.
    • I’m not sure what a head-nurse is? ?A matron? ?A Chief Nurse? ?Would giving her a lower/more menial job role (than the other characters) provide more conflict?
    • I’m also a little unsure of why they’d need to survive the confinement? ?It sounds like there’s a pretty robust system set up and there would be a hierarchy of authority already in place.

    In my mind, I can’t help thinking that the story is somewhere in what causes the power breakdown within the bunker and threatens their survival. ?The war (and maybe that the auto locking doors won’t open for 30 days) is the context.

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  3. Posted: January 12, 2020In:

    When his old friend from WWI kills himself, a good-hearted rancher sets off on a harrowing odyssey across Great Depression-era America to personally deliver a letter to the man’s long lost love.

    Trix Samurai

    P.S. In my mind, the II is the suicide - that kicks everything off and happens off screen. ?However you could argue that the letter is the catalyst that he has to decide whether to act upon?

    P.S. In my mind, the II is the suicide – that kicks everything off and happens off screen. ?However you could argue that the letter is the catalyst that he has to decide whether to act upon?

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