1. Posted: February 10, 2020In:

    When a Papuan native girl enters service in Sydney and meets a spoiled rich boy who becomes seriously ill, she must convince him that to survive he must adopt an ancient native tradition.

    Trix Samurai

    I agree with Richie and Mike... it's a very interesting idea that just needs a little more work. ?My thoughts are: Immediately reminded of the Emilia Clarke film Me Before You - where she tries to stop the paraplegic rich boy committing suicide. ?Your MC is very different, so should be a good 'sameRead more

    I agree with Richie and Mike… it’s a very interesting idea that just needs a little more work. ?My thoughts are:

    • Immediately reminded of the Emilia Clarke film Me Before You – where she tries to stop the paraplegic rich boy committing suicide. ?Your MC is very different, so should be a good ‘same but different’ approach.
    • I agree with Richie, that getting him out of Australia would be a good idea and also add literal movement to the plot.
    • As Mike says, making him seriously ill from the start is a good idea and throws your MC into the predicament straight away.
    • I also want to know what the ancient native tradition is… is it magical? faith? or like a trip to Lourdes? (this would also give you the excuse to move him).
    • Maybe an adjective about the girl would also benefit? ?Something to make her job that little bit harder? ?Is she rambunctious? timid? mute? nervous?
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  2. Posted: February 10, 2020In:

    SHORT FILM: In a society where companions unite with a finger trap, a desperate man goes on the search for a partner. After a long struggle, he inserts his own finger into his trap, uniting with himself.  

    Best Answer
    Trix Samurai

    Hi Tjmohr, I'm not at all knowledgeable about shorts, so please just take these as my thoughts on what I read! Do you mean the Chinese finger trap type thingy? Your logline seems pretty solid to me - your main character is in search of a mate - something everyone can relate to. I like the idea of aRead more

    Hi Tjmohr,

    I’m not at all knowledgeable about shorts, so please just take these as my thoughts on what I read!

    • Do you mean the Chinese finger trap type thingy?
    • Your logline seems pretty solid to me – your main character is in search of a mate – something everyone can relate to.
    • I like the idea of a society uniting with a device that literally binds people together… I take it this is presented a metaphor rather than a practical device?
    • I love the idea of the man inserting his own fingers into each side and finding he can be complete with himself – it gave me a really warm feeling.
    • “after a long struggle” is the only element I thought you may consider looking at – maybe after multiple rejection? after bigotry? something a little more concrete?

    I can see it presenting well in a super-stylised way… maybe even as a dreamy animation. ?Love it.

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  3. Posted: February 7, 2020In:

    In a future post-apocalypse society, where reproduction is only for ?the worthy?, a young woman chosen for reproduction must convince her leaders to spare her life after announcing that she doesn?t want to have children.

    Best Answer
    Trix Samurai

    Hi Banff2010, I like your premise. ?My initial thoughts on reading are: If only the worthy are allowed to reproduce, wouldn't that eventually mean that only the worthy are the ones still alive as the others are bred out? Would a society kill a prime asset if she didn't want to breed? ?Wouldn't theyRead more

    Hi Banff2010,

    I like your premise. ?My initial thoughts on reading are:

    • If only the worthy are allowed to reproduce, wouldn’t that eventually mean that only the worthy are the ones still alive as the others are bred out?
    • Would a society kill a prime asset if she didn’t want to breed? ?Wouldn’t they just force her to?
    • Is she from a sub-section of society? ?Maybe she’s an anomaly in the rejects and they’d take her baby away and send her back to the unworthy?
    • Usually post apocalyptic worlds welcome reproduction -?What makes someone worthy? ?Being perfect? ?A specific ethnicity? ?What are the eugenics in question?
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