1. Posted: October 18, 2013In:

    A gentle golden retriever flips out, I mean FLIPS! OUT! when a squirrel violates his lawn. In seeking justice, he discovers that he can fire handguns, and now he's never taking another No! again.

    wilsondownunder Penpusher

    Hi, Would this be an animation aimed at adults. Is it intending to be a short or a feature. I can tell its a bit of fun, slightly whacky - hence I like it. Maybe you can firm it up. Never takes another 'no' from anyone is open ended/unclear. Turn this into a goal. Maybe he sets out to find the RangeRead more

    Hi,

    Would this be an animation aimed at adults. Is it intending to be a short or a feature. I can tell its a bit of fun, slightly whacky – hence I like it. Maybe you can firm it up. Never takes another ‘no’ from anyone is open ended/unclear. Turn this into a goal. Maybe he sets out to find the Ranger who took him from his family (or something as equally fitting yet random).

    Also. The tone while fun is maybe a bit loose. You could probably state flips out once given you back it up by stating he goes on a murderous rampage.

    See less
    • 0
  2. Posted: October 8, 2013In:

    Who is Snowden and why did he do what he did? Is Snowden a hero or traitor?

    wilsondownunder Penpusher

    Hi, I think you might actually need to tell us who Snowden is. Loglines are all about telling the reader what your films about. A (guy/girl/detective) has to (insert action the take) in order to (insert desired goal). From your logline as it stands now I can't tell if Snowden is good, bad, your heroRead more

    Hi,

    I think you might actually need to tell us who Snowden is. Loglines are all about telling the reader what your films about. A (guy/girl/detective) has to (insert action the take) in order to (insert desired goal).

    From your logline as it stands now I can’t tell if Snowden is good, bad, your hero, your bad guy or what this film is about.

    Maybe give it another try as – I have to be honest – I kind of want to know who Snowden is. Your set up works in creating intrigue but producers want more upfront. They’ll want to know who Snowden is before reading just in case he’s a drag queen who dreams of being a roller derby hero when they were hoping for an outlaw.

    Good luck

    See less
    • 0
  3. Posted: October 6, 2013In:

    Batman is being sought for the murder of ex-cons, cops, and Rachel Dawes. Commisioner Gordon meets a man named "StrongMan" who tells him he can capture Batman. Mr. Gordon grants him immunity for any crimes he many commit in capturing Batman. However Strongman is working for an underground mob. Due to the events that have unfolded Batman has fallen into a deep depression.

    wilsondownunder Penpusher

    All very valid comments above but the most valid is the ownership of these characters by DC. If you're just messing around, the above comments will really help you bring a solid logline together. If you're planning on writing this to sell, do some research first as I'd hate for you to invest all youRead more

    All very valid comments above but the most valid is the ownership of these characters by DC. If you’re just messing around, the above comments will really help you bring a solid logline together. If you’re planning on writing this to sell, do some research first as I’d hate for you to invest all your time into a film you have no right to market out.

    Good luck

    See less
    • 0