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  1. Posted: August 16, 2013In: Public

    An entitled hipster evades a murderous stalker as he sleeps his way to winning a reality television program, after he wishes for his sins to be concealed in an online video.

    wilsondownunder Penpusher
    Added an answer on August 18, 2013 at 12:27 am

    I took "sleeps his way" to mean "has sex"

    I took “sleeps his way” to mean “has sex”

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  2. Posted: August 17, 2013In: Public

    Kicked out by her mom, a rebellious daughter is forced to join her broke and dysfunctional dad as he takes a last chance assignment to follow a corrupt politician in a cross country bike race.

    wilsondownunder Penpusher
    Added an answer on August 17, 2013 at 5:31 pm

    Not sure if it's just me but the use of the word 'race' is throwing me. I take it it's a cross country man hunt? I only suggest this because I don't know of many politicians who participate in bike races. I keep picturing a Fast and Furious style film...when I don't think that's your intent. I realiRead more

    Not sure if it’s just me but the use of the word ‘race’ is throwing me. I take it it’s a cross country man hunt? I only suggest this because I don’t know of many politicians who participate in bike races. I keep picturing a Fast and Furious style film…when I don’t think that’s your intent. I realize I’m probably just misreading things here but thought I’d flag it.

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  3. Posted: August 17, 2013In: Public

    A weekend in the woods turns deadly, when a recovering drug addict and his girlfriend discover that their cabin is a storage site for his former dealer.

    wilsondownunder Penpusher
    Added an answer on August 17, 2013 at 5:27 pm

    Hi, I see two potential stories here based on how you've worded your logline. 1. A recovering drug addict and his down and out girlfriend go to a cabin to help get over their addictions only to find a stash of drugs, sending them into a downward spiral of drug abuse/psychosis and over doses - henceRead more

    Hi,

    I see two potential stories here based on how you’ve worded your logline.

    1. A recovering drug addict and his down and out girlfriend go to a cabin to help get over their addictions only to find a stash of drugs, sending them into a downward spiral of drug abuse/psychosis and over doses – hence it turns deadly

    2. A recovering drug addict and his down and out girlfriend go to a cabin to help get over their addictions only to learn it is owned by the former dealer who he owes money to and must escape the cabin when he arrives unexpectedly – hence it turns deadly

    I’m not sure which you are going for but it might be worth clarifying so that people know why the weekend turns deadly – are they in the murderous hands of a drug dealer or their own idle hands.

    Also, you just need the word “the” between ‘in’ and ‘woods’ – ‘in the woods’.

    Good luck 🙂

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1 … 18 19 20 21 22 … 41

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