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When a widow with 8 children finds $21 million dollars in black garbage bags stashed in an old barn, she decides to keep it, evading drug dealers DEA and FBI in a motor home cross-country road trip with her best friend and 10 children giving away money as she goes.
Hi, Could be a fun movie. Your logline needs to be cut in half though. It's quite wordy with a lot of information that doesn't need to be in there. "When a charitable widow finds $21 million dollars stashed in her garage she decides to take her kids cross country to donate the money, with the drug dRead more
Hi,
Could be a fun movie. Your logline needs to be cut in half though. It’s quite wordy with a lot of information that doesn’t need to be in there.
“When a charitable widow finds $21 million dollars stashed in her garage she decides to take her kids cross country to donate the money, with the drug dealers who stashed it hot on their tail.”
See lessSeven year old JR nearly unwishes his talking Teddy Bear, Threadbare Fred Bear, until Fred (his guardian angel in disguise) takes him on a trip through the wishing tunnel, dodging wishes coming true, until they reach The Wish Factory where they watch elves, angels and The Big Guy manifest hopes, dreams, wishes and prayers.
Hi, I know how frustrating it can be to have everyone want to know what your film is about without reading your script but sadly that's what the logline needs to do. Really it just needs to spell out that there's a person, something happens to them and they have to go on a journey to 'solve' the sitRead more
Hi,
I know how frustrating it can be to have everyone want to know what your film is about without reading your script but sadly that’s what the logline needs to do. Really it just needs to spell out that there’s a person, something happens to them and they have to go on a journey to ‘solve’ the situation (and in doing say undergo some sort of transformation).
Without knowing what your film is about I can only make a condensed logline up:
“After a young boy starts to lose his belief in Santa Clause, a talking teddy bear takes him on an adventure to rediscover the magic of Christmas before it’s too late”
Granted what I’ve written is fairly terrible but gives you an idea of the formula. You should really throw in the obstacle/antagonist but I’m not sure who that is in your story. Maybe his step mom is an evil witch who wants to destroy Christmas…
Good luck
See lessUpon learning that suicide will forbid him entry to Heaven, a religious yet guilt-racked hitman secretly lets the public democratically determine his next target in order to righteously earn the Lord's favour and then be killed in the process.
Hi, Interesting idea. One query I have is in the use of the word 'secretly'. How can you secretly do something democratically? In order to be democratic, the people need to be aware what they are driving (e.g. in order to vote democratically you would expect to know who the leaders are and their plaRead more
Hi,
Interesting idea.
One query I have is in the use of the word ‘secretly’. How can you secretly do something democratically? In order to be democratic, the people need to be aware what they are driving (e.g. in order to vote democratically you would expect to know who the leaders are and their platform and then have the freedom to choose who you want with the majority ruling).
Is it that someone commits a crime which is publicly condemned – hence ‘the public have spoken’?
If this is the case, perhaps reflect it in your logline as it’s a little bit confusing.
Also it looks like he wants to be killed while killing so that he doesn’t have to commit suicide? If death is his goal you may have trouble creating a strong hero. Otherwise he’ll just kill the bad guy and then, hopefully, die. Which wouldn’t be overly heroic, more defeatist. Suicide in many ways is selfish as well. Heroes should be selfless – dying for yourself isn’t as heroic as dying for others.
I’m guessing though that your hero gains a new life at the end of the film or that he ultimately dies for others – making him a hero and fulfilling his desire.
You could go along the line of:
“Suffering a crisis of faith, a suicidal hitman who wants eternal life repents by endeavoring to kill an evil mass murderer who has the public gripped by fear”
Just a thought. Good luck 🙂
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