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A divorced, middle-aged man is unexpectedly given full custody of his two teenage kids after his ex-wife dies in a freak accident. In exchange for his kids' cooperation, he has to participate in their school's breakdance recital.
Hi, The idea has legs I just think the logline needs work. The fact that he needs to win his kids cooperation suggests they don't respect him - why? Answering this will help provide your characters flaw. Next it'd be great to make the line more concise. For example: Two teenagers force their absentRead more
Hi,
The idea has legs I just think the logline needs work. The fact that he needs to win his kids cooperation suggests they don’t respect him – why? Answering this will help provide your characters flaw. Next it’d be great to make the line more concise. For example:
Two teenagers force their absent father to participate in a high school break dance competition to prove his worth after he takes custody of them following their mothers untimely death
This isn’t great but gives you an idea.
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I see a big house party that turns into a bloodbath
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See lessForced to stay at home following a heart attack, a high powered exec realizes he doesn’t know his teenage daughter when she announces she?s pregnant, prompting him to try and reconnect with her and stabilize the family.
How about: "Whilst on a forced vacation, a high powered exec realizes he doesn't know his teenage daughter when she announces she's pregnant, and sets about trying to reconnect with her before returning to work."
How about:
“Whilst on a forced vacation, a high powered exec realizes he doesn’t know his teenage daughter when she announces she’s pregnant, and sets about trying to reconnect with her before returning to work.”
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