1. Posted: July 12, 2013In:

    A high school kid becomes increasingly obsessed with cracking an enigmatic waffle house owner.

    wilsondownunder Penpusher

    Hi, agree with James Michael - right now I'm just picturing an angry kid who hates waffles...I can't be sympathetic to someone who hates waffles! What's the real motivation. thanks

    Hi,

    agree with James Michael – right now I’m just picturing an angry kid who hates waffles…I can’t be sympathetic to someone who hates waffles! What’s the real motivation.

    thanks

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  2. Posted: July 12, 2013In:

    Whilst the rest of the world begins to lose their memories. A sole teenager starts to learn things about the world that they had never dreamed of.

    wilsondownunder Penpusher

    Hi It'd be good if you could tell us in your log line what the result of this new found knowledge is. The questions that spring to mind are: Does the teenager use the knowledge to stop the demise of human memory, does he use it for good, for evil? I imagine they don't just absorb this new knowledgeRead more

    Hi

    It’d be good if you could tell us in your log line what the result of this new found knowledge is.

    The questions that spring to mind are:

    Does the teenager use the knowledge to stop the demise of human memory, does he use it for good, for evil? I imagine they don’t just absorb this new knowledge without acting – that would make for a very passive hero.

    Why is everyone losing their memory – is it evolutionary or a result of some mass conspiracy? Why does the teenager not lose their memory?

    When you say they learn things they’ve never dreamed of – good things, bad things? Is this a sci-fi film?

    Perhaps if your log line could address some of these questions it would help.

    When a rebellious teen goes underground from society…
    he/she discovers that…
    and must use the information to…

    this is very rough, just to give you an idea.

    Good luck

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  3. Posted: July 1, 2013In:

    When a apathetic policeman's new-born son is kidnapped he will do everything in his power to expose a corrupted Chinese state and it?s network of child traffickers to get his son back.

    wilsondownunder Penpusher

    Hi, small thing: Making it 'when an apathetic policeman' rather than 'when a apathetic policeman' will makes this logline read better.

    Hi, small thing:

    Making it ‘when an apathetic policeman’ rather than ‘when a apathetic policeman’ will makes this logline read better.

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