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When her mother is convicted as a paedophile, a 16-year-old girl struggles with therapy, high-school, and an overnight change in how she is seen by society as she seeks to be legally emancipated.
You have a unique situation with plenty of potential, now you need to sort out the different strands and find the main story. Why would the girl need legal emancipation? Since you have not told us otherwise, I would assume her mother is in jail and the girl is a ward of the state. By the time her moRead more
You have a unique situation with plenty of potential, now you need to sort out the different strands and find the main story.
Why would the girl need legal emancipation? Since you have not told us otherwise, I would assume her mother is in jail and the girl is a ward of the state. By the time her mother gets out of jail, the girl will be a legal adult. Hence, for all intent and purpose she is already emancipated from her mother. So why bother when she has so many other problems? –? Unless, and this you have not told us either, the girl was also a victim of her mother’s crimes. In that case we can understand her wanting to sock it to her mother come what may.
If she is not a victim, then how does society see this young woman? Hereditary sex offender? Unindicted co-conspirator? Or self-centered brat who abandoned her mother when she needed help? If her battle with society is the main theme, tell us what she must do to bring society around to her side.
See lessWhen his wife leaves him and his world falls apart, a depressed control-freak attempts to tie up all the loose ends in his life and with those he cares about as he plans his own suicide
I think the comedy part of the dramedy is not evident in the revised version of your logline.? Also "...his world falls apart..." is a bit vague. Can you give us something more? Don't know exactly what you have in mind, but maybe this gives you food for thought: When his wife leaves him for his bestRead more
I think the comedy part of the dramedy is not evident in the revised version of your logline.? Also “…his world falls apart…” is a bit vague. Can you give us something more?
Don’t know exactly what you have in mind, but maybe this gives you food for thought:
When his wife leaves him for his best friend and his boss fires him, a depressed control freak decides on suicide, but first he must find a good home for his dog.
See less(4th revision) A vigilante hacker spies on a power-hungry corporation as they confirm reality itself can be manipulated like computer code, and finds herself in a race with them to leverage this power and stop them from controlling the world.
@sdanzig, I looked up Meyer's Book, "Off to be the Wizard". It is in the first instance a light comedy, then a fantasy, and last SciFi. And I think that is where the confusion comes in with your story.From what you previously posted, I thought you wanted to tell a serious SciFi story that explored tRead more
Scott Danzig, I looked up Meyer’s Book, “Off to be the Wizard”. It is in the first instance a light comedy, then a fantasy, and last SciFi. And I think that is where the confusion comes in with your story.
From what you previously posted, I thought you wanted to tell a serious SciFi story that explored the nature of reality. Meyer’s book doesn’t do that. It is a science fiction version of Twain’s? “A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur’s Court”. Those books work because they are humorous, light entertainment. For a moment of fun, people are wiling to suspend their disbelief to a far greater extent than would be for a thriller, because in a comedy all they ask for is laughs.
If you classify your story as a comedy, not SciFi, and make it funny enough, then people will laugh and forget the questions about who ultimately controls the computer. We accepted all kinds of nonsense in Men In Black, because it was first of all a comedy. That film would not have worked as a thriller.
If it was your intention all along to create a SciFi comedy, then I apologize for the misunderstanding.
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