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A tabloid photographer races to uncover a deadly parasitic outbreak before his estranged daughter becomes the next victim.
That he wants to protect his daughter, estranged or not, during a deadly parasitic outbreak is a given. Furthermore, it does not add any tension to the story because it is not clear why his daughter is at a higher risk than anyone else.Think about the man's goal and what stands in his way. "...uncovRead more
That he wants to protect his daughter, estranged or not, during a deadly parasitic outbreak is a given. Furthermore, it does not add any tension to the story because it is not clear why his daughter is at a higher risk than anyone else.
Think about the man’s goal and what stands in his way. “…uncover a deadly parasitic outbreak…” cannot be the goal as a ” parasitic outbreak” is out in the open per definition of outbreak, i.e., an “outbreak” does not need to be uncovered. Either the man wants to cover the outbreak for his tabloid or he wants to uncover the source? of the outbreak. In either case, what keeps him from attaining this goal?
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See lessAfter starting a commune in the aftermath of Woodstock, a group of hippies has to resort to stealing from a hermit chicken farmer. All goes well until they kill his favorite hen… Now it?s his time to kill.
Who is the main character and what do they want? To survive the onslaught, one of the hippies will have to give up their pacifist ideals to kill the farmer. That person is the main character and the logline should be written from their POV. If you want the farmer to be the main character, then tellRead more
Who is the main character and what do they want? To survive the onslaught, one of the hippies will have to give up their pacifist ideals to kill the farmer. That person is the main character and the logline should be written from their POV.
If you want the farmer to be the main character, then tell us about his motives and goals. (Wiping out an entire commune for one chicken is not a goal we can sympathize with – unless this is a black comedy and you can make us feel he is somehow the victim.)
See lessWhen an exiled gangster turned priest discovers that his mother is dying, he must make peace with his ex partner in crime in order to return home.
Good logline that could be improved if you tell us what stands between the two men. E.g. When an exiled gangster turned priest discovers his mother is dying, he must make peace with the ex-partner he betrayed to the police before he can return home.
Good logline that could be improved if you tell us what stands between the two men.
E.g.
When an exiled gangster turned priest discovers his mother is dying, he must make peace with the ex-partner he betrayed to the police before he can return home.
See less