1. Posted: October 3, 2019In:

    (4th revision) A vigilante hacker spies on a power-hungry corporation as they confirm reality itself can be manipulated like computer code, and finds herself in a race with them to leverage this power and stop them from controlling the world.

    yqwertz Mentor

    Reality can be manipulated. Scientist do it in their laboratories all the time. Often times they need huge machines to make a tiny piece of nature do something it would not normally do. Most the times these devices are computer controlled. The magic you are asking us to believe is that computer codeRead more

    Reality can be manipulated. Scientist do it in their laboratories all the time. Often times they need huge machines to make a tiny piece of nature do something it would not normally do. Most the times these devices are computer controlled.

    The magic you are asking us to believe is that computer code alone can change reality. If you want me to buy into that premise you have to tell me where the computer sits and how the code gets uploaded. And by the time you do all that it is going to be looking a lot like Matrix. And this brings us to the most important questions: Who is running the computer and why? If you don’t try to answer this question, the viewers are going to feel cheated.

    If you want to take a different tact and stay away from Matrix comparisons, look beyond programming. While reality itself cannot be manipulated outside the laboratory (except in Matrix like universes), you can change peoples perception of reality through hallucinogenic drugs. There are many futuristic ideas for drug delivery being floated around these days. Maybe your evil corporation can take advantage of one of them. If your plot has to involve software because that is a technology you feel comfortable working with, then make the drug delivery system software controlled.

     

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  2. Posted: October 1, 2019In:

    When a bullied classmate turns up drowned, meek hall monitor must team up with their high school tormentor in order to catch the culprit.

    Best Answer
    yqwertz Mentor

    Why must the students find a culprit? There is no indication a crime was committed or that the police can't handle the job. And how does being a "hall monitor"play into the story? Did the death occur on her watch? Was she watching the hall in front of the school pool? Finally, if it was a crime, wouRead more

    Why must the students find a culprit? There is no indication a crime was committed or that the police can’t handle the job. And how does being a “hall monitor”play into the story? Did the death occur on her watch? Was she watching the hall in front of the school pool? Finally, if it was a crime, wouldn’t the tormentor be the prime suspect?

    Possible ways out are:? 1) tell us that the police suspect the bully and he (or she) must prove her innocence, or 2) the police rule the death a suicide and the students want to prove it was murder, or 3) the police suspect the hall monitor who claimed the bullied student went alone to the pool when she was murdered.

     

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  3. Posted: September 28, 2019In:

    Animal activists do a night raid on a facility only to discover human not animal unwilling test subjects. They are now trapped with a security force willing to kill them to protect the secret.

    yqwertz Mentor

    In both versions of your logline, the discovery of the human test subjects muddles the main story. How does this discovery change the activist's goals? Something has to change.Also, think a bit more about the GoPros you want to use for production. Wouldn't your activist also have access to such cameRead more

    In both versions of your logline, the discovery of the human test subjects muddles the main story. How does this discovery change the activist’s goals? Something has to change.

    Also, think a bit more about the GoPros you want to use for production. Wouldn’t your activist also have access to such cameras, thereby enabling them to stream the raid live? Seems like the logical thing to do to increase the impact of their protest. And if they are streaming the raid live, it would be a really bad idea for the security forces to kill them outright.

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