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After an 18 year-old Russian Jew sends his family to Ellis Island but must remain behind because of the 1924 U.S. immigration quota law, his 5-year journey in Europe and Latin America forces him to come of age and finally dare to cross illegally in El Paso, TX to reunite with his family.
Not sure how to interpret your logline. "...an 18 year old ... sends his family..." Do you mean his wife and children? If you mean his siblings and parents, then it sounds like he was abandoned since an 18 year old was legally a child in 1924. (21 was the old age of majority.)Anyway, you can by passRead more
Not sure how to interpret your logline. “…an 18 year old … sends his family…” Do you mean his wife and children? If you mean his siblings and parents, then it sounds like he was abandoned since an 18 year old was legally a child in 1924. (21 was the old age of majority.)
Anyway, you can by pass these nagging difficulties by streamlining your logline:
When a Russian Jew is denied permission to join his family in 1924 America, he resolves to enter the country illegally, but when the Communist Party confiscates all his property, he must first tramp his way to Mexico.
See lessIn the throes of the Iraq war, a flight medic and his crew risk their lives to save injured soldiers and civilians alike.
Good premise, now raise the stakes. Tell us what is unique about this story. Why is this man's experience so harrowing? Is the medic sitting in a fortified base where he treats the injured as they are brought in? That would fit your logline, but is more of a "Mash"-like drama than a War film. MaybeRead more
Good premise, now raise the stakes. Tell us what is unique about this story. Why is this man’s experience so harrowing?
Is the medic sitting in a fortified base where he treats the injured as they are brought in? That would fit your logline, but is more of a “Mash”-like drama than a War film.
Maybe his patrol ambushed while in a small town and the Taliban are shooting everyone who moves and reinforcement cannot get through?
Maybe the medic is with a front line unit during the bloodiest battle of the war and he runs across the battlefield saving friend and foe alike?
See lessWhen a disgraced schoolgirl is sent home, she finds her rural outback town dying. With everything hopeless, she sets about to remake the town, fighting with corrupt politicians, billionaire mining magnets and ?apathetic ?townspeople to create a prosperous future.
"....her rural outback town is dying." is to diffuse for an inciting incident and "...to create a prosperous future." is too vague for a goal. Give your heroine a concrete goal arising from a concrete problem. Maybe she discovers that the mine has contaminated the drinking water and corrupt politiciRead more
“….her rural outback town is dying.” is to diffuse for an inciting incident and “…to create a prosperous future.” is too vague for a goal. Give your heroine a concrete goal arising from a concrete problem. Maybe she discovers that the mine has contaminated the drinking water and corrupt politicians have been covering it up. In that case a logline might look like:
When she discovers a gold mine has contaminated the drinking water in her rural outback town, a disgraced school girl must expose the politicians who are covering it up before everyone falls ill.
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